I'll take a fried peanut butter and banana sandwich please. Oh, and 3 Thorazines.

So what would a trip to Memphis be without a trip to the King's house?! On my way out of the town, I stopped by what is considered Mecca by many Elvis fans, Graceland. Quick "did you know facts" about Graceland:
1) Elvis actually did not name Graceland, "Graceland": he inherited the name from the previous owners
2) Elvis had 3 televisions set up side by side in his media room so that he could watch all 3 networks at the SAME TIME. whoa.
3) Elvis was actually really into racquetball and even built an indoor court on the property......... apparently this was many years before he became 'Fat Elvis'

On Monday afternoon, I rolled into the great state of Mississippi. By great I mean, well, um, ok, it pretty much sucks. According to the internets, the state came very close to winning the triple crown last year (in other words, finishing last in income, last in education and first in obesity). I spent my time in Oxford, which is home to the University of Mississippi or "Ole Miss" as it is affectionately called. I think I repeated the phrase "Ole Miss" in a Southern accent about 150 times that day. Say it out loud and tell me that's not funny!

Ole Miss has a decent campus with lots of brick buildings and a pretty nice open field where the kids can congregate. Went to a game Monday night - the "Running Rebs" (again hilarious!) took on the mighty Presbyterian Blue Hose (who had a 4-21 record entering the game). Man, talk about bad basketball. 1,500 other frustrated fans and I sat through a miserable display of round ball. Ole Miss should have won the game by about 50, but played so poorly they only won by 11. Nice thing about the game being so empty was that you could actually hear blood vessels in Ole Miss head coach Andy Kennedy's forehead popping during the game. I thought he was going to go Bobby Knight on a couple of his players.

This morning, I completed my Elvis tour with a quick stop by his birthplace in Tupelo, MS. At the King's 2 bedroom shack, I was greeted by an old feller that was really, really nice. In fact, he was too nice. When I shook his hand, he wouldn't let go. For like 3 minutes. Reminded me of the old dude in Family Guy - I was just waiting this guy to ask if I wanted to see his popsicle collection in the basement.

Tonight, I escaped a massive thunderstorm in Tuscaloosa (home of the University of Alabama - now THAT'S a nice campus) and got safely into Birmingham. Was planning to head down to the Five Points South district but then realized I got a flat tire. Dum dum dum.... Bummer. I had to scrap my plans and walk to the Full Moom BBQ across the street to get a taste of Alabama. The scores: Grub (2 out of 5 - mediocre!); Beck (2 out of 5 - decorated in football crap, bad); Deluise (6 out of 5 - what's that called when you feel like you have mucus in your heart?).

Manana, I head for the ATL to hang out with an old partner-in-crime Benton Marshall Smith and his lovely family. Happy early Valentine's Day los suckers.