The Unofficial Official South America Recap

Ah, how time flies when you're having fun......... and not on meth. Our tour of South America is officially over, but the bloggity blogsfive........must.......go........on......... Speaking of fives, I present to you the top five lists compiled on the trip. Enjoy.

Top Five Best Events (in no particular order)
1) Whitewater rafting outside of Cusco
2) The 20 mile hike outside of El Chalten
3) The Cicuito Chico bike ride in Bariloche
4) Clubs in BA - Bahrein and Niceto nightclubs
5) Spa in El Chalten
Honorable mention:
- Chocolate cake at the top of Catedral outside Bariloche
- Machu Picchu/Sacred Valley (would have made top 5 if weather was better)
- Walking on Perito Merino glacier
- Beating up those old people at the senior center in Lima....man they had it coming

Top Five Best Cultural Experiences
1) Watching a cute brother/sister duo dressed in traditional Peruvian clothing doing a song and dance number in Ollantaytambo. They had these 'pained' expressions on their faces, which made them infinitely more adorable than they already were.
2) Tango at the Milonga in BA on New Year's. 65 year olds kickin' it at 5am? Seriously?!
3) Having lunch with a school girl outside Bariloche. She was trying to learn English and although we had only a quick chat, when she left, she sought out all of us in the restaurant to give us a little peck on the cheek (and say goodbye). Precious.
4) The Saturday market in Lima. Chaotic. Tons of short people. Bottles, cans, clap your hands.
5) Dunkin Donuts in downtown Lima. They had these pink donuts with sprinkles on them. You just can't get that anywhere else.

Top Five Best Meals
What makes a great meal? It isn't always JUST about the quality of the food or the level of service. Sometimes it is the people you are with, the frame of mind or the circumstances leading up to the meal, company shared, the amount of wine consumed, etc.
1) BA: Bar Uriarte - Great company, comfy couches, delicious food and wine
2) BA: Green Bamboo - Yummy waitresses, gorgeous Vietnamese food
3) Cusco: Cicciolina - Delicious tapas; the only really GOOD dining experience for us in Cusco
4) BA: Olsen - Not the best brunch in the world, but unlike Morrissey, this place will have you wishing that "Everyday is like Sunday" as you chew on your waffles and sip on Chandon
5) El Chalten: La Cerveceria - Grub food for a brewery and a FUN place to escape the cold
Honorable Mention:
- BA: Casa Cruz - fancy but not too pretentious, felt like a place that Tony Montana (Scarface) would eat
- Lima: Astrid y Gaston - good Peruvian food with an upscale twist
- BA: Bar 6 - they may not have the best steak, but they know how to dress it (mine was dressed in a nice pink blouse)

Top Five Worst Smells (Update)
1) My sneakers after the El Chalten hike (and for the next 3 weeks)
2) El Calafate hostel
3) Aquas Calientes hostel
4) Dog crap on every street and the 'ocean' in BA
5) South American women.....just kidding.....sort of

Top Five Worst Musical Genres (as voted on by MCA and BriJames)
1) Reggaeton - this was popular all throughout the Southland. This genre has ONE drum beat. ONE!!! For an entire genre of music! And it was stuck in our heads the entire trip! Ahhhh!!!! And the fashion (in the videos) is horrible. Take off those f*cking ridiculous ladies sunglasses!!
2) Showtunes - seriously if you like this kind of Celine Dion/Bette Midler crap, we may need to revisit our friendship and discuss where it's going......
3) Tejano - No offense to the Mexican people, but this music is really no bueno. At least it has more than one damn drum beat. Man I hate Reggaeton!!!!
4) New Country - This is Tim McGraw and Trisha Underwood's proudest moment - not finishing in the top 3 on this list.
5) Smooth Jazz - Sadly, John Tesh and Kenny G would be a welcome substitution for any of the genres above.........ESPECIALLY REGGAETON!!!!

Quick stats:
- Trains (2), Planes (8) and Automobiles (57+)
- Number of pieces of poo stepped in: 5
- Most hours slept in one night: 13 (BJ)
- Least hours slept in one night: 1 (Both, BA to Lima)
- Amount of times we feared for our lives: 0

For the legions of fans of the bloggity blogs5, not to fear. You will get your fill of ridiculousness ALL THROUGHOUT THE MONTH OF FEBRUARY. That's right friends, you will get the pleasure of following me to such exciting and glamorous locales as:
Memphis, TN; Oxford, MS; Birmingham, AL; The ATL; Buford, SC; Raleigh, NC; Charlottesville, VA; Morgantown, WV; Columbus, OH; Indianapolis, IN; Chicago, IL; Des Moines, IA

Trip begins this Friday! Sayonara Suckers!!