The Douchebag Chronicles

Rarely am I as inspired to write a bb5 post as tonight........

Last Friday, I had dinner with my friends Sasha and Sarah at the delicious R&G Lounge in Chinatown. Not only was it the first meal I've had in Chinatown that didn't require a followup trip to the emergency room, it was also a night where I became a little bit more familiar with a term I thought I knew well. I think the conversation went something like this:

Me: "The new guy at that company I used to work for is such a douchebag. You know what? No, he is worse than a douchebag, because I love that word and I could never love him. [bite of Kangpao Chicken] Hey, do you ladies even know what a douchebag is?"

Sasha: "Well, actually, no."
Me: "Isn't it like a plastic cylinder with a small tube"
Sarah: "I can't even remember what it looks like - I haven't used one for years......."

.........ok, so Sarah didn't actually say this.... I can't remember what actually transpired in the convo, but essentially the three of us had no idea what a douchebag looked like.* This is pretty amazing (and inexcusable) on my part, as I have used this word at least 100 times this week alone.

I mean, it makes a great noun: Dude, you need to stay away from that 19 year old girl and quit being a douchebag.

And an even better adverb: Your brother tried to beat me up yesterday. How douchebagly of him.

But the best thing about the word is that it has TONS of potential extensions: douchebaggish, doucheBaghdad, douchebagasaurus Rex, etc.

So anyway, I decided to whip out the IPhone (yes, by doing this at dinner I was displaying some major douchebaggery) and did an image search ............... oh. .................... my .................... God.................... THIS is a douchebag.


Who woulda thunk? It's so large! It's so elaborate! Hey wait a minute, when I had a fever as a young boy, I think my mom used to put a douchebag filled with ice on my head. Eww....MOM!

In my search for a douchebag, I also came across this website where you can vote on random guy's douchebaggedness. Hours of fun. Hope you are as enlightened as I was. Wow.

* This is the point where you keep your Dustin Diamond jokes to yourself......