The Madness that is March

So, apparently, there was this basketball tournament that began a couple of days ago. I stumbled upon it as I was settling in to my daily ritual of The Price is Right and The Young & Restless.

Actually, the first two days of the NCAA Tournament are always two of my favorite days of the year, trailing only Flag Day (June 14th) and Employee Legal Awareness Day (Feb 13th). I usually spend very little time actually doing any work and most of my time behind 'closed doors' taking 'important phone calls' where I never actually 'say anything' and 'yell randomly at my computer screen' all the while 'scratching my crotch'. You know the drill. It is March Madness, an American tradition of unproductiveness (yes I know this is not a word, but who made you Bin Laden).

This year, without a job, it was like being a crackhead in a........store that........ sells only crack, I guess. I think I watched like 15 different games - 4 shy of my personal record and enough to make my eyes bleed at the end of today.

And, hey, how about that action the past couple o' days? WOW. This is one of those tournaments where a gay dude who was the youngest doctor ever and knows nothing about basketball is likely leading your bracket. Glad I paid attention to all of those meaningless regular season games and the so-called expert advice as it was ABSOLUTELY WORTHLESS as normal. Summary of my favorite games/stats:

- Stanford 1567, Cornell 1526 in an unbelievably nerdy showdown of SAT scores. Apparently there was also a basketball game played.

- UNC 113, Mount St. Mary's 74- I knew some guys who went to Mount St. Mary's High School and I'm not really sure that the selection committee should let high schools play in the tournament. It just doesn't seem fair.....unless one of your players is Teen Wolf.

- UT stops Austin Peay - Ironic/funny as UT is located in Austin and Peay is pronounced Pee. It reminds me of the headlines in my hometown newspaper when my high school, the Topeka High Trojans, would play the Seaman Vikings. Examples: Trojans overcome by Seaman. Seaman penetrates Trojan Defense. Trojans Block Seaman, Seaman cums all over Trojans face, etc. For the record, if Austin Peay and Oral Roberts ever make the tournament again in the same year, the selection committee would be STUPID not to set that up as a first round matchup.

- Pac 10 teams: 3-3 in the first round. The 3 teams that won will likely be gone by the second round (ok, UCLA might make it one more round). But seriously, how much is enough? I think it is time for the Pac 10 to shut down basketball operations and focus solely on football.

More action tomorrow. A big battle between former K-State coach/all around great guy Lon Kruger's UNLV Running Rebels and the top ranked Kansas Jayhawks. After upsets plagued the rest of the Midwest bracket I see an easy road to the Elite Eight for the Jayhawks..... which means they will probably find a way to completely blow it tomorrow. Prediciton: UNLV 134, KU 62.

Ok, so enough of the basketball already. I told you I was not going to turn this into a political blog, but hey, how about that Gerald Ford, huh? God he is such a jerk! Just kidding - your moment of zen is this article from the Onion on Obama. Classico.