Saturday, December 22, 2007

It's Cold Outside......It Gets So Hot In Here.....


It was raining this white stuff that looked like cocaine in the land of Oz today. Had like the biggest "snow" in probably 100 years or something*. I drove to the gym (which is 9 blocks from my mom's house and promptly closed 30 minutes after I got there) and saw the following:

1) A car in the ditch
2) 3 cars stuck on a small hill
3) The Pizza Hut delivery guy
4) God...... ok, maybe not, but for a second there I couldn't really see anything because of the snow and thought that I was going to die.

It's crazy....... and a reminder as to why I live in San Francisco. I mean, sure the snow is fun and you can go sledding and make snowmen and stuff. That's all kinds of fun for like 1 hour. Then, it just becomes a pain - my Kansas City plans got cancelled tonight, boo.

When you are trapped inside at the Andrews/Taylor household and get tired of watching cable, the games usually break out. A fun game that we play every year is Dare or Dare, our version of Truth or Dare, where the Dares get harder until someone gets hurt. My sister Allison 'won' this round (see above).

Hope everyone has a safe and happy holiday season and doesn't get stuck in the airport like my sister Jennifer did today for 9 hours. Ho Ho Ho, Hoes.

Site of the Day: Are you tired of Christians? Well, finally, YOU have a holiday where you can celebrate your hatred of them!**

* Not confirmed as of press time. In fact, it probably was the 418th biggest snow ever, but still impressive.
** Don't worry, I'm not going to discuss religion and politics in this blog. I just thought the origination of the holiday was pretty ridiculous.

Monday, December 3, 2007

Blogging is for bloggers

Seriously, who has the time to blog? Better yet, why would anyone CHOOSE to spend the time necessary to maintain such ridiculousness? These are questions I asked myself on a daily basis (along with other important questions like "what is the meaning of life" and "WOULD I like fries with that"). And then.......... I quit my job. sound church bells here All of a sudden, I had 50 more hours in my week. Thus far, I have been able to fill up nearly 48.7 of those, leaving 1.3 hours per week for blogging. The following is the first 1.3 hour installment.

First topic: the name of the blog. It's pretty simple really. I wanted bloggity blog blog, because my crack team of researchers deemed that this was the pinnacle of creativity and humor. The pinnacle. The "Michael Jordan" of blog names, so to speak. Unfortunately for me, some "genius" had already secured bloggity blog blog. This same "genius" is some british chick who was trying to date some guy online and lose weight in 2004 by simply avoiding McDonald's. Sigh. She probably has bad teeth too. Seriously, if you want to waste 15 MORE minutes of your time, you should give her blog a read. And then remember that you're NEVER GOING TO GET THAT 15 MINUTES BACK. Not to be deterred by this bird, I decided to go back to the drawing board. That's when I came up with, get this, bloggity blog blog BLOG. That's right 3 blogs. Another jerk had secured that.....and 4 blogs was taken as well. Thus, I settled on bloggity blog blog blog blog blog. 5 blogs. 5 is a very lucky number and also that of George Brett, third basemen for the Kansas City Royals when they actually had a chance of finishing anything other than last place. For the record, this is where I was going to stop, because seriously, bloggity blog blog blog blog blog blog is just stupid.

Here are the comments I have received thus far:
"How many blogs was that again?"
"That is not funny, nor creative. You should change that right now."
"It's too long, I'll never remember it"
"Who are you and how did you get into my house?"

Here is what I have to say to all of the detractors out there:
"I don't care what you think"
"5 out of 5 dentists approve 5 blogs after bloggity"
"Your mom seemed to like the idea last night....when we were in bed - tell her I said hi"
"It was either this or douche bag gremlins"

Second topic: the reason I am starting the blog. I have been doing the googles and also running the internets for awhile, but the kids kept talking about these blogs. Blog this and blog that. I met this girl and she's got a nice set of blogs. My dad had to go in for blog surgery and the blogger totally blogged it up. Papa Blog just blogged Bloggette and Brainy Blog blogged the whole thing on the blog. etc.

So, yeah...... what was the topic again....... oh yeah, this blog is NOT without purpose. I am embarking on a journey to the 'other' America... the one where they don't speak American. Headed to Argentina for 3 weeks and Peru for 2 weeks. Yea.

When I return to the states I will be headed to the 'Confederate' America..... more specifically, Georgia, Mississippi and a bunch of other states where I will likely be tried for being a sympathizer...... that is unless I can make it to the county line in the ole General Lee.

Excitement abounds friends. I wish I could take all of you with me, but alas, you will at least have this blog to read and see what you are missing out on.

Third topic: bloggity blog blog blog blog blog rules.
1) No touching or bullying
2) There is a chance that you may be offended by something you read. If this happens, please contact customer support at maybeineedtobelessuptight@yahoo.com or perhapsishouldtakethingslessliterally@gmail.com
3) Responses are encouraged and will likely be praised and/or ignored
4) Every blog entry will end with a motivational message and/or a featured website of the day

Happy reading folks and don't forget to "keep....... looking....... up". Horkheimer rules!!!!