Man, I HATE Duke

So getting sick sucked, but it meant getting to see a game at two of the most prominent college basketball programs in the country, Duke and North Carolina. Everything happens for a reason.......

Saturday I showed up at Cameron Indoor Stadium, to see the Duke Blue Devils take on the St. John's Red Storm. The subject of much debate between KU and Duke fans, Cameron is 'supposedly' the best arena in the country to see a college basketball game (KU fans would argue that Allen Fieldhouse is #1). So, with a completely partial view, I went in with high expectations AND an extreme hatred of Duke. I was blown away.

I will only say this once and it pains me to admit it, but I have to say that Cameron IS the best place to see a basketball game in the country. Sigh. There are a few reasons that make it unique/special:
- It is a small arena... capacity is only 9,300 (compare to 16k-20k for most major program arenas) and they PACK you in - luckily no one sat next to me because otherwise I would have had to put my legs ON the person sitting in front of me.
- The facilities were completely OLD SCHOOL - built in 1940 and barely renovated since....lots of charm. The entrance I went through made it feel like I was going to church or the opera or something. Please note: I have ever been to an opera, this example was used for illustrative purposes only.
- The students (aka the Cameron Crazies) get the best seats in the house - the first 8 rows of one complete side of the arena! Most universities understandably reserve these seats for alumni with deep pockets. But, Duke's decision to give these to the students gives them a distinct home court advantage.

Since the students are practically ON the court and because the arena is so small, the cohesiveness and volume of the chants/cheers is like nothing I have ever seen.....again, I have to apologize to all of my Jayhawk comrades. Also, the Cameron Crazies are pretty damn creative for rich, white kids. Some standout things I noticed:
- When opponent's players are announced, they all say in unison (while waving): "Hi Jamal" in a real sarcastic tone
- New free throw distraction tactics that made me laugh out loud: counting down from 10 really quickly; making sexual groaning noises
- When the opponent comes on the floor, they put the 'hex' on them by pointing their arms and chanting 'uhhhhhh'........and they do it not just for 15 seconds, but for like 5 minutes straight.

It just really amazed me how pumped everybody was throughout the whole game. The game was essentially over with about 10 minutes to go in the first half and yet the crowd was still in it. They were yelling 'Defense' with 75 seconds left to go in the game and Duke up by 30. WHAT?! Incredible. Man, I hate Duke.....................

That evening I went out in Chapel Hill for delicious pizza and wine on Franklin St. with an old Jamba friend, Hannah Pask. Her dog Zeke (Nasty) unfortunately wouldn't sit still long enough, but that is a 'Tar Heels' bib that he has on. Yeah, college basketball is big in this area.



Sunday night, I saw the North Carolina Tar Heels take on the Wake Forest Demon Deacons. Wow, talk about a totally different experience. While North Carolina has a deep tradition like Duke and KU, the Dean Dome (their 22,000 seat arena) doesn't hold a candle to Cameron or Allen Fieldhouse. Sure, it was fun to see former KU coach/demi-god Roy Williams barking on the sideline and Player of the Year candidate Tyler Hansborough making some unbelievable moves, but the crowd was practically asleep at times during the game. And it's not like North Carolina plays boring basketball - Roy's teams always play a very entertaining, up-tempo game (oh, how I miss the days when Roy coached at KU). It was still a much better atmosphere than Memphis and Ole Miss, but the architecture/size of the arena makes all the difference.



Next stop: Virginia.

South Carolina - a great place to have the flu!

Recent commercial on daytime television:
Mom: "Gosh, I would love to go on vacation, but I just don't know where to go...."
Kid #1: "Yeah, I'm tired of always going to Florida, I wish there was somewhere else we could go..."
Kid #2: "Mom, I don't feel good"
Announcer: "Tired of the same old boring vacation spot? Have you or one of your family members recently contacted the flu? Well then I have got the place just for you....... South Carolina! Enjoy king sized beds and deluxe television screens, while you sleep 14 hours a day, eat dry toast and enjoy tea, soup and as many liquids as you can possibly put in your body. Let the staff (Aunt Pam and Uncled Ed) cater to your every need and enjoy nice views of golf courses and marshy land, as you recover....just in time to leave!"

So, I didn't exactly get to enjoy much of the splendor that is South Carolina, but if I was going to get sick this was DEFINITELY the place to do it....in style. My AP and UE were awesome and put up with my ridiculousness for nearly a week. Major props to AP and UE.

I did get the royal tour of their island (by cart no less) and I can say that I am definitely not ready to retire to this lifestyle yet.... highlights of the week:
- Dinner at the country club - I wore my best "Rodney Dangerfield in Caddyshack outfit" and fit in so well that I thought this 65 year old lady was going to try to jump my bones. She had a major case of Andrewsitis..... and with a quick look at the competition (all old wrinkly dudes), I can understand why.
- Seeing the movie Juno in Hilton Head. Oh my gosh, if you haven't seen this movie, see it. Best movie of the year. I am in love with Ellen Page.
- Eating a delicious Peanut Butter and Oreo Blizzard.......I'm stretching here. I literally spent about 40% of my time there awake. :)

The one good thing about getting sick is that it changed my schedule and I got to see a Duke AND North Carolina basketball game! More details on that to follow. Happy Tuesday suckers.

The ATL

Hey y'all! Sorry, I've been fixin' to do some postin' for the past few days, but I caught myself a good ole fashioned flu. It was not pretty. And I am going to describe it in full detail. First, I started losing all..........................................well, I guess I'll spare you the details, but let's just say I spent more time in bed than John Holmes.....except I didn't get to have as much fun.

I rolled into the ATL (Dirty South! WHAT WHAT?!) on Thursday evening and met up with my friend Benton Marshall Smith III, his wife Meredith and their lovely kids Brooke (cute girl above in horrible cheerleading outfit) and Cole. Benton and I became friends in our tenure at Jamba Juice Company and while we really didn't work together that much, we developed a lot of skits, songs and videos for the multiple brand conferences that we hosted. Not only is Ben extremely hilarious and outgoing, but so is his wife Meredith. Together they form one of the funniest/most entertaining one-two punch in couple history.

That evening we enjoyed dinner at a local catfish place and Ben got me caught up on all of the wonderful happenings at his new employer, Fantastic Sam's (a hair salon business in the South and Midwest). I seriously don't need to write any jokes about this, because the fact that Ben works there is funny enough.

On Valentine's Day, I did a little work in the morning/afternoon (huh?!) and went for a run through the campus of Ben's alma mater, Emory. Ben always likes to talk about how it is one of the top 15 universities in the country and I always like to remind him that everyone outside of Atlanta thinks that Emory is the same thing as Devry (go Jayhawks!). For dinner, Ben cooked up some of his world famous JAMBAlaya (in tribute to our former employer?)..... here are the scores: Grub (4 out of 5); Beck (2 out of 5 - hey, it was their kitchen); Deluise (1 out of 5: very healthy!). Seeing as how it was Valentine's Day, I suggested that the two of them go out while I watch the kids. After laughing for about 15 minutes straight, they asked, 'oh, were you serious?'. Instead, Ben and I went and got some beers at a couple of his old college haunts (Moe's & Joe's, Neighbor's) and then ended up at a strip club....... yes........on Valentine's Day. Extremely romantic!

Those of you who know me know that strip clubs are not my thing. I have never really understood the allure of going to a room where there are a bunch of naked women with no ultimate conclusion. It's kind of like going to a Krispy Kreme, watching the delicious smelling rings of yeast come slowly down the conveyor belt, seeing the ooey gooey sugar get dribbled all over them and then saying, "Gosh, I really want a donut....but f*ck it, I've got a four month old ho-ho in the car". Plus, of course it is degrading to women.

BUT, my friend Ben is a big fan (of the 3 strip clubs that I have been to in my life, 2 of them have been with him) and I figured I would get all kinds of great stories for the bloggity blogs5! Yeah. Unfortunately, not so much. Of the 5-7 women who came out on stage, only 1 of them was really very attractive. Overall the clientele was pretty much as you would expect.... a mixture of truck drivers, thugsters, ministers and community activists. The club did have one thing going for it though - the stereotypical DJ saying things really fast like, "All right everybody put your hands together for Cannnnnndyyyy". And, we made it out of there with Ben only spending about $40.

The next day, I woke up feeling like donkey, but we pressed on to some of the touristy spots in Atlanta. First stop, the world's LARGEST aquarium! The highlight was when Ben tried to talk the parking attendant down from the clearly stated $10 price... you kind of had to be there, but it was classic BS. Here is a photo we snuck of the cheesy photo that the aquarium tries to make you buy for $20:


After that,we checked out the World of Coke museum! I may or may not have gotten scared at the '4-D' movie.....
We had lunch at an institution, the Varsity.....chili cheese dogs, hamburgers, onion rings. Apparently this one location does over $17 Million per year! Selling $1.25 hamburgers?! The scores: Grub (3.5 out of 5: solidly good); Beck (5 out of 5: multiple rooms with lots of character, is a mixture of businessmen, blue collar, school kids, all walks of life); Deluise (5 out of 5: when is chili cheese EVER a good idea?).


That evening, I shaved down to the stash so that Meredith could officially be seen around town with the "Great Moustachio Brothers (tm)". We dined at a very nice Italian place called Ecco and quickly made a friend:


Saturday I woke up at 3:30pm (after sleeping for 15 hours straight) and somehow conjured up enough energy to drive to South Carolina with a fever of like 104. Thank God. I would have hated to burden my friends with the flu miserableness that I encountered the next 3 days. Lucky for my Aunt Pam and Uncle Ed, I got to burden them instead!

South Carolina adventures (while limited due to illness) to be updated soon.......

Oh, one last thing guys. You have got to check out the best song that I have heard in the South. It's by a guy named Steve Holy and he's got himself a "Brand New Girlfriend". Click on the link. Do it. Do it. Ok, now that you've heard this...... remember how I said that New Country was the fourth worth genre of music? Now you know HOW BAD REGGAETON IS!

I'll take a fried peanut butter and banana sandwich please. Oh, and 3 Thorazines.

So what would a trip to Memphis be without a trip to the King's house?! On my way out of the town, I stopped by what is considered Mecca by many Elvis fans, Graceland. Quick "did you know facts" about Graceland:
1) Elvis actually did not name Graceland, "Graceland": he inherited the name from the previous owners
2) Elvis had 3 televisions set up side by side in his media room so that he could watch all 3 networks at the SAME TIME. whoa.
3) Elvis was actually really into racquetball and even built an indoor court on the property......... apparently this was many years before he became 'Fat Elvis'

On Monday afternoon, I rolled into the great state of Mississippi. By great I mean, well, um, ok, it pretty much sucks. According to the internets, the state came very close to winning the triple crown last year (in other words, finishing last in income, last in education and first in obesity). I spent my time in Oxford, which is home to the University of Mississippi or "Ole Miss" as it is affectionately called. I think I repeated the phrase "Ole Miss" in a Southern accent about 150 times that day. Say it out loud and tell me that's not funny!

Ole Miss has a decent campus with lots of brick buildings and a pretty nice open field where the kids can congregate. Went to a game Monday night - the "Running Rebs" (again hilarious!) took on the mighty Presbyterian Blue Hose (who had a 4-21 record entering the game). Man, talk about bad basketball. 1,500 other frustrated fans and I sat through a miserable display of round ball. Ole Miss should have won the game by about 50, but played so poorly they only won by 11. Nice thing about the game being so empty was that you could actually hear blood vessels in Ole Miss head coach Andy Kennedy's forehead popping during the game. I thought he was going to go Bobby Knight on a couple of his players.

This morning, I completed my Elvis tour with a quick stop by his birthplace in Tupelo, MS. At the King's 2 bedroom shack, I was greeted by an old feller that was really, really nice. In fact, he was too nice. When I shook his hand, he wouldn't let go. For like 3 minutes. Reminded me of the old dude in Family Guy - I was just waiting this guy to ask if I wanted to see his popsicle collection in the basement.

Tonight, I escaped a massive thunderstorm in Tuscaloosa (home of the University of Alabama - now THAT'S a nice campus) and got safely into Birmingham. Was planning to head down to the Five Points South district but then realized I got a flat tire. Dum dum dum.... Bummer. I had to scrap my plans and walk to the Full Moom BBQ across the street to get a taste of Alabama. The scores: Grub (2 out of 5 - mediocre!); Beck (2 out of 5 - decorated in football crap, bad); Deluise (6 out of 5 - what's that called when you feel like you have mucus in your heart?).

Manana, I head for the ATL to hang out with an old partner-in-crime Benton Marshall Smith and his lovely family. Happy early Valentine's Day los suckers.

Basketball and Barbeque Tour is Officially Underway

The trip to the "dirty" South officially began Friday with a relatively painless 10 hour drive. Quite surprising considering the fact that most of the time was spent driving through Missouruh, the armpit state to the right of Kansas. You see, Missouruh is home to my alma mater's bitter rival, the Mizzou Tigers. Assuming the billboards on the highway are representative, a degree from the University of Missouri can lead to a career in any of the state's main industries:

- Guns and Ammo

- Fireworks

- Adult Videos/Book Stores

Wow. I am SO happy I went to KU.

Making the trip extremely pleasant was that my bitchen rental car, the Dodge Avenger (or DAve as I call it) has satellite radio. Also, I got an IPhone on Thursday*. So, 10 hours of indie and gangsta rap combined with web surfing made for a fun for me, dangerous for others ride.

While I was planning to drive all the way to Memphis before eating, I stumbled upon a place in southern Missouri that I had seen on the Food Channel. Billboard after billboard called me (it was like divine intervention) to Lambert's, the self annointed "home of throwed rolls". Grammar is apparently not important in Missouruh either. For my trip to the South I have decided to rate meals on a scale of 1 to 5 on three basic criteria:

- The Grub Factor - "Quality/taste of food"

- The Beck Factor - "Authenticity of concept/atmosphere, fun factor"

- The Dom Deluise Factor - "Potential of having a heart attack on premise"

After catching a couple of rolls (yes, they really do throw them), I settled into a (as promised) extremely salty ham steak. It came with all the fixins' such as mac & cheese & tomato, fried okra and mashed potatoes and fried potatoes. Pure delicousness. And the lady playing the piano old-time style next to me made me feel like I was at home. Final scores: Grub (4 out of 5); Beck (5 out of 5); Deluise (5 out of 5 - I seriously felt my heart skip a beat after my meal).

With a full belly, I pulled into Memphis at about 10pm and was blown away yet again. While not the most convenient location, the Hyatt Place is one of the nicest hotels I have ever been in..... for $99 a night. Recently remodeled with a sectional couch, pillowtop bed and 42 inch plasma in every room. I gotta throw a Lil John, "WHAT?!" out there. Incredible.

After a luxurious night sleep, I got up Saturday morning and headed to downtown Memphis to see the #1 college basketball team in the land, the Memphis Tigers, battle the lowly UCF Horned Crocodiles**.

You know how they say, 'everyone in the South is nice'? Wow, they weren't kidding. I had 'brunch' at a place before the game called Big Foot Lodge. The food was nothing special, but the bartender Joe was AWESOME. Although busy, he chatted with me nearly the whole time and filled me on places to eat, tips for bball tickets, etc. Ridiculously cool dude.

I decided to scalp tickets for the game and get this.... they were $7! #1 team in the nation and you can watch them for $7?! Sure they were upper deck seats, but they were decent. Huh?!

The game itself was pretty much a snoozer. Memphis slept walk through the first half and eventually put their lowly opponents out of their misery in the second half, winning 85-64. The atmosphere was nothing compared to Allen Fieldhouse (home of the Jayhawks). The highlight was getting to sit with the family that scalped me the ticket, the Pattons (see above and yes, they are 'kin' to General Patton). I got all kinds of great tips on places to eat, but I believe the youngest Patton, Summer, had the best comment: "in the South we're all about barbeque...well, that and meat and taters". Well said, Summer. Well said. Check this out - they actually SAW the tornado that passed through last week. Jealous!

Post-game I decided to hit up the historic and colorful Beale street, the 'home of the blues'.......... and also home to about 50 bars trying to exploit the fact that it is the 'home of the blues'. I walked into a fine establishment that enticed me with $1 beers. I ended up spending about $12 too much over the next 4 hours and jawing with a dude originally from Iowa who had just moved to Memphis from LA. Cool dude, although if I was ever going to make it back to the hotel, I had to get out of there and get some food. BBQ time.

I decided to hit up the landmark restaurant"Charles Vergo's Rendezvous" based on multiple raves. Mind you, I was a little blasted when I ate the meal but I had the same feeling that I had at the Memphis Tigers game..... "OVERRATED". I had the rib plate (dry) and here are my scores: Grub (2 out of 5); Beck (5 out of 5 - awesome space; in true Memphis fashion, a girl named Brandy*** chatted me up throughout my entire meal); Deluise (4 out of 5 - cardiac potential, but not TOO greasy).

Sunday, I played tourist and hit up several Memphis institutions. Among them:

- The National Civil Rights Museum: quick history lesson, MLK Jr was shot in Memphis. How many of you remembered that?! They preserved the facade of the hotel where he was shot and had a museum inside the motel. Really powerful, moving stuff. Thank God we didn't have to grow up in an era where ignorance was even more rampant than it is now.

- The Gibson Guitar Factory Tour: Tour took 10 minutes and cost $10. The tour guide was the son of that guy who talked really fast on the FedEx commercials in the 80s. We got to see first hand why the Chinese will soon be making all of the world's guitars......this model of efficiency puts out a whole 250 guitars a week. Wow!

- Sun Records: This was actually really cool. The spot where Elvis, Johnny Cash (as seen in Walk the Line), Buddy Holly, even U2 recorded a lot of music. It hasn't been updated and still has the same look as the 50s.

- BB King's Blues Bar - saw a Sharon Jones wanna be belt out some tunes while an 85 year old dude wailed away on a guitar that looked like it belonged in a Metallica video.

Capped it all off with a trip to another highly recommended barbeque joint.... Central BBQ. Wow, this was the type of bbq I had been waiting for - I had the combo plate (ribs, pork, turkey, mac & cheese and onion rings). And the scores: Grub (4.5 out of 5 - wow, the turkey was some of the best I have ever had. Would have gotten a 5 if the mac & cheese didn't suck); Beck (4.5 out of 5 - the floors were literally slippery from all the grease.... you can't beat that; only thing keeping it from a 5 were all of the white people all over the place); Deluise (5 out of 5 - I am seriously having chest pains as I type this).

Whew, what an eventful weekend. If you are still reading this, I am shocked and amazed. You should probably get back to work right about........NOW. Next stop for me is Oxford, Mississippi home of the Ole Miss Runnin' Rebs. Peace out.

* This is quite possibly the coolest piece of technology I have purchased since I bought my first phonograph machine. It has already changed my life.

** This is not the actual school mascot, but it might as well be. They suck.

*** This was SERIOUSLY her name. I can't make this stuff up - it's too good! See picture #2..

The Unofficial Official South America Recap

Ah, how time flies when you're having fun......... and not on meth. Our tour of South America is officially over, but the bloggity blogsfive........must.......go........on......... Speaking of fives, I present to you the top five lists compiled on the trip. Enjoy.

Top Five Best Events (in no particular order)
1) Whitewater rafting outside of Cusco
2) The 20 mile hike outside of El Chalten
3) The Cicuito Chico bike ride in Bariloche
4) Clubs in BA - Bahrein and Niceto nightclubs
5) Spa in El Chalten
Honorable mention:
- Chocolate cake at the top of Catedral outside Bariloche
- Machu Picchu/Sacred Valley (would have made top 5 if weather was better)
- Walking on Perito Merino glacier
- Beating up those old people at the senior center in Lima....man they had it coming

Top Five Best Cultural Experiences
1) Watching a cute brother/sister duo dressed in traditional Peruvian clothing doing a song and dance number in Ollantaytambo. They had these 'pained' expressions on their faces, which made them infinitely more adorable than they already were.
2) Tango at the Milonga in BA on New Year's. 65 year olds kickin' it at 5am? Seriously?!
3) Having lunch with a school girl outside Bariloche. She was trying to learn English and although we had only a quick chat, when she left, she sought out all of us in the restaurant to give us a little peck on the cheek (and say goodbye). Precious.
4) The Saturday market in Lima. Chaotic. Tons of short people. Bottles, cans, clap your hands.
5) Dunkin Donuts in downtown Lima. They had these pink donuts with sprinkles on them. You just can't get that anywhere else.

Top Five Best Meals
What makes a great meal? It isn't always JUST about the quality of the food or the level of service. Sometimes it is the people you are with, the frame of mind or the circumstances leading up to the meal, company shared, the amount of wine consumed, etc.
1) BA: Bar Uriarte - Great company, comfy couches, delicious food and wine
2) BA: Green Bamboo - Yummy waitresses, gorgeous Vietnamese food
3) Cusco: Cicciolina - Delicious tapas; the only really GOOD dining experience for us in Cusco
4) BA: Olsen - Not the best brunch in the world, but unlike Morrissey, this place will have you wishing that "Everyday is like Sunday" as you chew on your waffles and sip on Chandon
5) El Chalten: La Cerveceria - Grub food for a brewery and a FUN place to escape the cold
Honorable Mention:
- BA: Casa Cruz - fancy but not too pretentious, felt like a place that Tony Montana (Scarface) would eat
- Lima: Astrid y Gaston - good Peruvian food with an upscale twist
- BA: Bar 6 - they may not have the best steak, but they know how to dress it (mine was dressed in a nice pink blouse)

Top Five Worst Smells (Update)
1) My sneakers after the El Chalten hike (and for the next 3 weeks)
2) El Calafate hostel
3) Aquas Calientes hostel
4) Dog crap on every street and the 'ocean' in BA
5) South American women.....just kidding.....sort of

Top Five Worst Musical Genres (as voted on by MCA and BriJames)
1) Reggaeton - this was popular all throughout the Southland. This genre has ONE drum beat. ONE!!! For an entire genre of music! And it was stuck in our heads the entire trip! Ahhhh!!!! And the fashion (in the videos) is horrible. Take off those f*cking ridiculous ladies sunglasses!!
2) Showtunes - seriously if you like this kind of Celine Dion/Bette Midler crap, we may need to revisit our friendship and discuss where it's going......
3) Tejano - No offense to the Mexican people, but this music is really no bueno. At least it has more than one damn drum beat. Man I hate Reggaeton!!!!
4) New Country - This is Tim McGraw and Trisha Underwood's proudest moment - not finishing in the top 3 on this list.
5) Smooth Jazz - Sadly, John Tesh and Kenny G would be a welcome substitution for any of the genres above.........ESPECIALLY REGGAETON!!!!

Quick stats:
- Trains (2), Planes (8) and Automobiles (57+)
- Number of pieces of poo stepped in: 5
- Most hours slept in one night: 13 (BJ)
- Least hours slept in one night: 1 (Both, BA to Lima)
- Amount of times we feared for our lives: 0

For the legions of fans of the bloggity blogs5, not to fear. You will get your fill of ridiculousness ALL THROUGHOUT THE MONTH OF FEBRUARY. That's right friends, you will get the pleasure of following me to such exciting and glamorous locales as:
Memphis, TN; Oxford, MS; Birmingham, AL; The ATL; Buford, SC; Raleigh, NC; Charlottesville, VA; Morgantown, WV; Columbus, OH; Indianapolis, IN; Chicago, IL; Des Moines, IA

Trip begins this Friday! Sayonara Suckers!!

Mother Nature 1, Team Andrews/Taylor 0

Wednesday, the culmination of our 5 week journey: Machu Picchu (see above for stock photo). Quick history lesson: MP was an Inca village that was abandoned when the Spaniards took over the show in the mid 1500s. It had become overrun by jungle growth and was not re-discovered until 1912 by a dude named Hiram Bircham. He was looking for the lost city of Paititi which according to legend contains several Inca treasures hidden from the Spaniards when they rose to power. Instead he found MP.

After 5 restless hours of sleep at a hostel ranked “#1 Musty Hostel in the World 2001-2006”, we awakened at 5am to the tune of moshi mumblio speak and jumped on ANOTHER bus to get to the entrance of MP. In total, that makes 2 planes, 2 buses, 1 train, 1 rickshaw and a donkey ride. Whew. I guess it could be worse - some hippies hiked the Inca trail in the rain for 4+ days (paying $500+) to get to MP. Yeah, um, no thanks.

We were pretty pumped as we entered the gates, ready to see some of the most spectacular views of our life. Unfortunately when we got into the park, all we could see was…….......... not what you see above. SUCK! It was so foggy it was like being in San Francisco in July. There were brief periods where we were given partial glimpses of what were probably marvelous views on a sunny day.

We were disappointed, but felt like we saw enough of MP and officially got our fill of ruins and the Sacred Valley. Moral of the story sports fans is this: don’t go to MP in the rainy season (try March – August for better viewing).

Right now we are on a train ride back to Cusco. Brianna just had the Peruvian favorite, Inca Cola, which is pee yellow in color and tastes like bubble gum soda. Eeeeeew. Oh jeez, the train stewards just started having a fashion show. Guess what they are trying to sell…… wool sweaters and hats! Ugh. Calgon take me away………….

Ok, so I WAS on a train ride, but couldn’t get this post out until after I returned to the States. I'm BACK! The recap post of the trip will drop on Tuesday. THEN, on to the REAL South America...... the Confederate states.

Humpty said/sang it best, “Do what you like”.

Hey Mister. Take a Picture?

On Monday morning, we caught an early flight to Cusco, a mountain town at an elevation of like 18,000 meters and home to thousands of Peruvians trying to sell you something.

Oxygen…..scarce……typing…….taking…..too….much….energy…..must…...rest…..

We didn’t want to push it too hard on the first day as we seemed to get winded with every step we took, so we did a bus ride/‘city tour’ of ruins and churches in the area. Brianna and I would like to kindly request that 4 hours of our life back, please.

We quickly discovered how well this city is set up for tourists. Advantage: several people speak English. Disadvantage: you can not walk 5 feet without being pestered. If you want a poncho, you have no less than 400 options in a 3 block radius. Looking for a wool sweater or a scary mask with a moutstache (see above)? You’ve come to the right place.

That evening, we had pisco sours and lomito saltado (7 on a scale of 10) at a place called El Meson. In fact, we have had lomito saltado several times and other traditional Peruvian food but none of lives up to the Peruvian food at Limon in SF. Sometimes, you don’t have to go very far to get away.......

Monday was all about white water rafting. It was MASSIVE! So much fun. Rapids were decent (some class 3s, lots of class 4s, some people fell in the water, etc). At the end, 25 of us crammed into a sauna built for about 7 and then had a surprisingly delicious provided lunch. Met a lot of cool people along the way, even a few Australians (thereby officially wrecking my theory that they are all jerks). When we got back to town, we decided to get one hour massages. How much would you be willing to pay for such a service? $149.99? How about $79.99? Well, act today and you can get a Peruvian massage for $6.99. Wow. Not the best massage I have ever had, but $7? Are you kidding me?

Tuesday, we toured the Sacred Valley, which really can’t be described in words, but I’ll try:

“Look at that! That’s awesome!”
“No way, did you see that dude?!”
Several minutes pass
“Hey, look, more ruins”
“Hey, another village of people trying to sell us crap”
Yawn "There is another llama.”
Several minutes pass
“Hey, can you pass me the coca leaf”
Chew, chew
“WOW! What incredible views!”
“Look at all the different colors!”
“I could run a marathon right now!”

Actually the views & ruins at Pisaq and Ollantaytambo were amazing and the coca leaf (yes, the key ingredient of cocaine) does in fact help ease the effects of higher altitude. It also helps you forget all of your problems and helps you become the life of the party and helps you stay awake for 3 days straight….and…..and….and…..

We just arrived in Aquas Calientes via train and we will cap off our 5 week odyssey with a visit to Machu Picchu tomorrow. Then only 3 more days in South America before we embark for the good ole USA.

If there is one thing I have re-learned on this trip, balance is key. Remember that folks and stay sane. Besos.

Toto, we are definitely not in Argentina anymore…..

Ok, so this is definitely a third world nation, BUT the Lonely Planet warnings seem a little exaggerated. Although we spent only 24 hours in Lima, we never felt unsafe. Might be because we stayed in the ‘nicer’ part of Lima, the San Isidiro neighborhood (compares to the sketchier parts of Oakland, CA).

Our first day in Lima, we hit Plaza Mayo, the main square in downtown Lima. The colonial-style government buildings were in great shape (especially compared to the graffiti-littered government buildings in BA, a city that is supposedly “so sophisticated”). Would-be-thugs were probably intimidated by the tanks marked “Asalto” and manned by a solider with his finger on the trigger of a machine gun. No seriously. Make the wrong move and you’ll get gunned down.

Next interesting observation – American chains have a big presence in Lima. You can eat at one of the many KFC or Pizza Hut locations, have your Starbucks, eat some McDonald’s and even get some jalapeno poppers at Chili’s or TGIFriday’s. Huge difference from BA where besides a few Burger King and Blockbuster stores, American crap chains were relatively nonexistent. Well, except for McDonald’s which is on every other block in every city in the world……

After a trip down the Fisherman Wharf-like strip of tourist shops, we stumbled upon a local market that was total chaos. Hundreds of vendors selling pots, pans, food, small children, etc. Kind of like the Crenshaw Swap Meet, except manned by midgets. Speaking of short people, Brianna and I feel like giants here – people stare, point fingers…. one kid yelled Godzilla and started running the opposite way. It’s pretty great.

We also stumbled onto Chinatown. We saw Chinese statues, Chinese restaurants, Chinese decorations. There was just one thing missing………….Chinese PEOPLE. What? It was like someone went through with a magic wand and turned all of the Chinese people into Peruvians. Interesting.

After an obligatory 4 hours of touristy stuff, we headed back to the ‘hood where we had a really authentic Peruvian dinner…..pizza. Considering we got only one hour of sleep the night before (hey, we HAD to go out to the clubs on our last night in BA right?), it was a pretty productive day. Next stop: Cusco

Buenos Aires, Round Dos

Our second tour of Buenos Aires has been on the ‘chill’ tip. Brianna and I quickly got back into our routine of staying up late, sleeping in, eating lunch, hitting the pool, running, eating dinner, going out, repeat.

We had a relative coup at the local Disco on Monday (this is one of the grocery chains here). We found great produce, healthy bread and get this…..PEANUT BUTTER (this is a tough find out of the states). This has enabled us to 1) get some fiber in our diet; 2) avoid eating beef and white bread for breakfast and 3) watch several episodes of Los Simpson dubbed in Spanish. We love the Disco!

Since we have not done much in the exploration department, I will report on the MANY restaurants we have tried in our second tour (all in Palermo Soho/Hollywood):

Green Bamboo – Who knew you could get good Vietnamese food in BA? Brianna had a chicken dish and I had fish and even the dessert was awesome. As a side note, the waitresses at this place are gorgeous.
Xalapa – Jonesing for Mexican food, we made a return to this spot. This time we sat inside and the experience was not nearly as rewarding as the first. The food was still good, but doesn’t hold a candle to the real deal.
Rave – We both had pasta in very heavy sauces. It’s more about sitting outside and checking out folks strolling by….. and seeing if the cop stationed at the corner is going to shoot anyone.
Casa Cruz - This is THE see and be seen place where the beautiful people dine. By far our fanciest and most expensive meal (still under USD$100 for 2). Nice space, tasty food.
Mark’s – Great lunch space with sandwiches and salads – very fresh ingredients. We sat next to a bonafide TV celebrity………….in Australia. Chris Taylor of the Daily Show-style Aussie comedy “The Chaser’s War on Everything” sat right next to us. You can take pictures of the hand I used to shake his when I get back!!!!! Actually, he was a really nice dude and had a beautiful girlfriend that looked like a young Naomi Watts.
Bar 6 – Although I had read mixed reviews, we really enjoyed our meal here. Not the best cut of meat, but the best preparation of steak I had in BA. Brianna had a wok chicken/vegetable combo that was delicious.
Cafe Tortoni - Ok, this is not a restaurant, but a cafe that has been around since 1858. Avoid at all costs - this is a tourist trap and there is absolutely nothing special about it.... there was very sleepy dog outside when we were there (see above).
Mott – Tries too hard, we were not blown away by anything we ordered here. Certainly nothing to write home about. Or if you did write home, it would go something like this:

Dear Mom and Dad,
Just wanted to let you know that I had a mediocre meal at this place called Mott. If you are ever in Buenos Aires, I would recommend that you eat dinner somewhere else. If you are forced to eat at Mott, maybe you should just go for the apple crumble, which ironically (for a place called Mott… you know, the applesauce?), is pretty good.

Your loving son,
Michael

After 16 days spent in BA, we are definitely ready for Peru. The Lonely Planet book does a wonderful job of getting one excited about the country. A few snippets:
“While you are unlikely to be physically hurt, travelers do regularly have their belongings stolen and muggings can happen”
“Taxis don’t have meters. You will need to negotiate the fare with them….foreigners will pay more”
“You will likely obtain an infections disease while in Peru. This is normal and you should see symptoms dissipate after 6-9 months”

Awesome. Looking forward to that. Stay sexy.

Brazil doesn’t take American Express

After a crazy night out on Saturday night in BA that ended at 7am (went to a dance club called Bahrein that was really fun/smoky/lite-brite(y)/etc), Brianna and I sleepily headed to the airport on Sunday for our flight to Brazil. At check-in, we found out that you need a VISA to get into Brazil*.

MCA: “Ok, great here is my Visa Card.”
Check-in lady: “Um, not that kind of visa”
MCA: “Oh, yeah, we don’t need a visa. We’re not going to work in Brazil, we’re just going for a week”
CIL: “Yeah, you still need a visa.”
MCA: “You need a visa just to get into the country?!?!”
CIL: “Yes”
MCA: (muttered under breath) “$@(%^&)(#////1”

Yeah. Welcome to Suckville, population: you.

Grabbed a cab back to our hotel. Was one of those cab rides where you see your whole life flash in front of you….you know the type…. where the cab driver is driving as fast as his held-together-by-duck-tape car will go, all the while turning around to talk to you the whole time trying to tell you in broken English how he used to play baseball and all you can think about is, "how do I say shut the f*ck up and look at the road" in Spanish?

After a chat with the front desk of our hotel, I thought getting a visa would be as easy as going down to the Brazilian consulate the next morning, filling out the paperwork, getting our visas and getting on a plane that evening*. Yeah. Um, NO. Here are the things you need to get a visa to get into Brazil:
- A roundtrip ticket or proof of inward and outward travel (printed off)
- Contact information in Brazil & in the country you are departing from (in our case, Argentina)
- Passport, valid for six months at least (obviously)
- Passport size photo (whatever that means)
- Copy of your credit card and a copy of your most 3! most recent bank statements (HUH?!)
- 14 toothpicks
- A case of pudding
- Michael McDonald Greatest Hits CD
- A ‘clean’ metal spatula

If you have all this, they take your passport and tell you it will take 3-10 days to process. Needless to say, we didn’t have 3-5 days, as we had planned to be in Peru in 7 days! SO, back to the drawing board. We spent nearly all day Monday changing reservations and trying to figure out what we were going to do for the week.

Dejected that we were not going to get to go to Rio, we thought we would try to ease the pain by hitting the beaches in Uruguay (Punta del Este) or in Argentina (Mar del Plata). But tons of locals we talked to said that the beaches were pretty weak (Mar del Plata sounded like Daytona Beach). So, we decided to get a really phat apartment and stay for the week in the Soho district in Buenos Aires. Our place is super modern, has a pool and it is good to be back in a cool ‘hood (Hotel PanAmericano was great but the location was next to the really touristy stuff). Only drawback is that we didn't every get the internet (as promised) in the apartment. Hence why this post took forever to get out. Keep on keepin’ on peeps.

* Apparently OUR government requires Brazilians entering the US to have a visa and this was Brazils retort. SO, we can’t even really be mad at the Brazillian government. I’m going to naively blame he whole thing on W.

** I also thought that Brianna and I would also be able to develop a cure for cancer that evening in our free time.

Yeah, we're moving on up.... to the East Siiiiiiide

Wow, what a different experience the last couple of days have been.

We woke up on our last day in El Calafate and had one of those, 'our flight leaves at 8pm tonight and we have nothing to do for the next 10 hours in this crap town' kind of moments. Luckily (or maybe it was fate? or maybe divine intervention? or maybe the work of Al Qaeda?), we stumbled upon an absolute oasis - the Humus Spa (part of the Hotel Posada Los Alamos). After a long hike and 3 nights of restless sleep we decided we should treat ourselves. Although the massages were not that wonderful (downright mediocre), it didn't matter. We had a great day - got our work out on, got our pool and hot tub on (yeah - nice!). Awesome.

The day just kept getting better. We got to fly FIRST CLASS back to BA. No WONDER the flight was so expensive! This was a first for both Brianna and myself and I can safely say that it is going to be hard to go back to peasant class. The meal we had was actually decent and we got to use real silverware?! Although we didn't get to our hotel until 1am, we were EXTREMELY pleased when we got to our room.

This place is awesome!!! Our room is HUGE and we have a view of the Obelisk and the famous Teatro Colon, which are right across the street - we're staying on '9 de Julio', which is the largest street in all of Argentina - 14+ lanes! The cherry on the top is the pool and gym on the 23rd floor. The views are pretty wonderful.

On our second tour of BA, we have eaten sushi at SushiClub (yum - NO BEEF for a whole day!), had dinner with our friend Gloria at a trendy bar/restaurant called Gran Bar Danzon (food was ok, but the dulce de leche souffle and ice cream were incredible), had drinks at this really cool bar called Milion which is situated in a refurbished 3 story colonial home, AND planned the logistics for the rest of the trip (this took the better part of yesterday)

We are headed to Rio tomorrow for 6 days and then on to Peru/Machu Picchu for the last week of our trip. As we bid Argentina adieu, I present to you the 5 worse smells we encountered:
1) Our room at the Hostel del Glaciar in El Calafate
2) The water surrounding BA (Puerto Madero, La Boca)
3) The dead llama smell at the restaurant/stop between El Calafate and El Chalten (a dog was gnawing on an uncooked leg portion)
4) The Zoo (we ran by here everyday when staying in Palermo)
5) Our bathroom every morning..... remember the commercials, 'beef does a body good'? I am going to have to disagree with that.

Also, 5 random/quirky things about Argentina
a) When you want a drink, you have to first go to the cashier and THEN stand in line and hand your ticket to a bartender (this happens at ice cream places too) - think Soviet Union circa 1985
b) Then when you order a drink, lets say vodka and red bull, you get a glass with vodka in it and a whole can of red bull (unmixed)
c) Everything is in what they call the 'metric' system. I have never heard of this, but it seems very confusing.
d) This is more of a BA thing, but the double l is pronounced 'zh' instead of 'yuh'. We confused more than one cab driver with our pronunciation of 'Callao'.
e) All of the above

The answer is e). Overall, we had a great time. The people have been extremely friendly and tolerant of 2 English-only speaking gringos. Adios to the land of Evita...

El Calafate… a dusty, dumpy town near a big ass glacier

WOW. For the first time on the trip, we officially heard the record player screech to a halt. You know, like when you walk into a Mexican bar and you are the only gringo and everybody’s like, ‘what the f*ck is he doing here?’

We arrived Saturday in El Calafate, a dirty town in the middle of nowhere and a stark contrast to the green lush beauty of Bariloche. After driving down a dirty road and several trailer park style houses, we arrived at our hostel, Hostal del Glaciar Pioneros. First, they screwed up our reservation – put us in a dorm (ok, I am DEFINITELY too old for that). After I argued with them for awhile, we finally got our room. Ah, how I love the smell of mold in the summer. Blargh. And, as we tried to sleep the next morning, we heard cleaning ladies, people walking down the wooden staircase (they say location is everything?), even a few dogs that sounded like they were dying of hunger… not exactly the Ritz Carlton. There are about 4 blocks downtown that are dressed up pretty nice, but otherwise this town is a heap full of old tourists.

We decided to take a painful 4 hour bus ride to El Chalten on Sunday, an even smaller town, but with great views of two mountains, Fitz Roy and Cerro Torre. El Chalten was amazing! Lots of charm. It also is a pretty dirty town as there are no paved roads yet, but the hostel we stayed at was great, the brewery next door was amazing (food and beer) and the views on our 8 hour, 20 mile (no exaggeration!) hike on Monday were stupid. So many great trails in the area. Although we had to battle winds of 40+mph, it stayed sunny all day….and all night. We are so far south that it stays light until 11:30pm!!!! So incredible!

Today we went to the Perito Merino glacier. We got to hike on the glacier for a couple hours and the hike ended with some whiskey and alfajores on the ice! Also saw huge chunks of ice fall into the lake (this is pretty much all you do at the glacier, other than making fun of old people).

Brianna and I are so tired of eating the same 5 foods and are eager to get back to the city (BA) where we will spend 4 more days. Small change in plans after that…. we are headed to Brazil for a week! Brasil, Brasil, Brasil, Brasil. Too bad we will miss Carnivale by 3 weeks!

Sorry for the delay in posts… El Calafate did not have anything but dial up internet - Dark Ages!!!

Bariloche es muy bueno y mumblio enchiladas....

So much for the posts every couple of days - it has been a busy week! I'm going to try to be a little more diligent in the future.

Brianna and I left the sweltering heat of BA (95 degrees when we left and a heat index of like 350 degrees) and arrived in a small Swiss influenced mountain village called Bariloche. The 'get out in nature and bike/hike/kayak/river raft' portion of our trip was officially underway.

The area surrounding the town is INCREDIBLY beautiful - surrounded by lakes and totally green (pictures to be uploaded at future date - current connection horrible!).

Even though I was pretty sure that I was too old to stay in a hostel, my friend Miriam, Brianna and I decided to book a room at the luxurious MarcoPolo Inn. I haven't really talked about it too much, but everything is dirt cheap down here. It is amazing. Our hostel is not an exception. It's actually pretty nice/clean/free of rats/fun and is $15 per person per night with free breakfast AND dinner. We decided to hit up the free dinner the first night - here is a summary of the contents:
1) One scoop of gruel - I think it was a rice and potato dish? The sauce was kind of a reddish/gray color
2) White bread, one pad of butter
3) Tap water
I had better meals when I was in prison. Needless to say, we ate out most nights in Bariloche.

On Wednesday, we woke up at 7:30am (this is the time that we had been going to SLEEP the previous 7 days) and embarked on our first outdoor/get active activity. Unfortunately for us the weather was extremely sucky. Rainy, cold, it even snowed for about 30 seconds in the morning. YEAH! Totally unprepared for that, as it is SUPPOSED to be in the 70s this time of year. All that said, the hike that we did (ok, it was more of a bus tour) was amazing. We saw the Tronador glaciar (surrounded by no less than 50 waterfalls! FIFTY!) and a couple of other waterfalls up close. Truly incredible. Brianna was mistaken for a movie star for the third time on the trip - one of the Argentinian girls on the trip thought he looked like Tom Green. SWEDISH.

At dinner that evening with our friends Marcel and Lindsey, Miriam was serenaded by a cheesy Argentinian lounge singer. Think Engelbert Humperdink meets Los Lobos. This guy quickly became my hero and my second favorite lounge singer of all time (behind the venerable Michael Parrish, of course).

The next day we rented mountain bikes and rode the Circuito Chico (about 35 kms total). If you are ever in Bariloche, I would highly recommend doing this – get your bikes at Hostel Campanillo. The people are SO nice/cool and after your ride you can warm up by the fireplace, eat delicious snacks and even play the guitar/ping pong/pin the tail on the donkey. The ride had several ridiculous views of the many lakes that surround the area and the Llao Llao golf resort is also on the path. We froze our ass*s off at times, but only got rained on for about 15 minutes. Again, where is the summer weather?!?!? We also spied lots of younger children on the trip and have now determined that if you are male and want to be cool, there are some age group differences:

Ages 7-12: Must wear a beret
Ages 13-45: Must have a mullet

On Friday, we were going to either kayak or do white water rafting, but it was still too cold. Instead, we decided to hike Cerro Catedral…….which we found out is essentially a ski resort…. um, yeah…… so we pretty much walked up a black diamond trail the whole way to the top (1000 meters of climbing). Kind of a crazy (ie stupido) thing to do, but the feeling of accomplishment and the vistas at the top were ‘breathtaking’ and/or ‘much better than CATS’. Even better was the chocolate cake we had at the lodge!

That night (and the night before) we had Italian food/pizza at Ristorante Brava – yum!

Speaking of food, here are some observations on our trip thus far:

• Nearly every restaurant has the same items on their menu
• Beef
• Pasta
• Empanadas
• Ham sandwiches
• Ethnic food is relatively non-existant – although B&I did have one ‘Mexican’ meal in BA that was really delicious (Xalapa)
• Healthy eating not necessarily a concept that has made it to Argentina. Fibrous foods would be great right about…… NOW.
• American brands have weird flavors in Argentina. Examples:
• Gatorade - Green apple protein
• Lays Potato Chips – Ham flavored
• Certs Breath Mints - Chorizo flavored (ok, maybe not)
• Standout items thus far: Steak (of course), gnocchi (which Miriam consumed at nearly every meal), and dulce de leche in MANY different forms
• Quilmes beer is EVERYWHERE (think Budweiser with a different label)

Brianna and I are now sitting in the airport waiting for our flight to El Calafate where we will see huge glaciers and more natural beauty and stuff. We are sad as we just had to bid adieu to the third point of the ‘triangle’ the past few days, Miriam. We will miss her energy, humor, spirit and…………. her ability to speak Spanish! Back to being treated like gringos everywhere we go!!! Ciao for now.

NO.....SLEEP...... 'TIL.....BA

Ok, I've said it before and I'll say it again, this city never sleeps. Brianna and I have been out every night except for one and have progressively stayed out later. Unlike the rest of BA, however, we like to get our sleep on. We have only been up once before 3pm this whole trip - luckily it stays light until 10! There isn't a whole lot of incentive to wake up too early, as you can hit the main sites in BA in the first 2 days.

On Thursday night, we had a delicious dinner with my friend Miriam at Bar Uriarte and then hit up a cool (rockabilly?!) club called Mundo Bizzaro - it definitely felt like a night out in San Francisco. See above - b&m dressed as twins that night. HOTT!!! Highlight was the candy girl who was trying to sell lighted knickknacks. She was at least EIGHTY years old (and I'm being generous here). Also, there was a couple who made out (standing up the whole time, nonetheless) for at least an hour and a half straight IN THE BAR. Earlier in the evening, two different couples were spied accosting each other in very public places. Needless to say, PDA is a national pastime here.

Brianna and I hit up a fun dance club called Kika the next night and danced until the sun came up. Music mix was pretty decent and there were several dudes with mullets (which means this is where the cool kids and cute chicas hang out).

Last night, after a very yummy Italian dinner (gnocchi!) at Sotto Voce with 10 folks, B&I hit up a different club called Honduras and it felt like we were in a completely different world. Not sure if there are any bridges or tunnels that lead to BA, but if so, this bar's clientele would best be described as 'b&t'. Brianna said it best, "If that is what the country of Honduras is like, I don't ever need to visit Honduras".

They say Sunday brunch at Olsen in Palermo Hollywood is a must. I agree. Yum. Cute waitresses, great patio, lots of fun boys, delicious Norwegian food. WAFFLES with no beef added!!!!!

Here are some other random observances from our time in BA:
- Dogs can crap pretty much anywhere they want - no rules here about picking it up
- Red lights mean stop...... or maybe go..... depends on your mood
- Taxi cabs don't turn their lights on and rely on the city lights (and Jebus) for guidance
- If you want the best service in town, head to the McDonald's on Scalabrini Ortiz at 5am. Ask for Maria. Note: eating at McD's can cause a serious case of what the locals call McDiarrea.

Ciao for now. Next post will come from Patagonia. Hope everyone has a nice work week. GOAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mullets galore

Yes, BA is sophisticated for South America and yes, it is kind of like Paris..... a very DIRTY Paris (see above). This is the scene at a port right next to a relatively tourist area. And the smoke that the buses emit is unbelievable - I think I might now have the black lung. It's disgusting enough to drive a hybrid owner to say "F*ck it, if this is how the environment is being treated outside the US, I'm getting an SUV".

But more importantly friends, the mullet has made a return.... to the land down under.... where they no speaky American. Oh my gosh, there are a lot of chicas and chicos with mullets here in BA. We've seen the minitruck mullet, the femmemullet, several meximullets and even a rastamullet today. These kids would fit in well in Missouri.

Today we made plans for our Patagonia trip. There are only a few local airlines that fly within the country, so we booked tickets with Aerolinas Argentinas. They have a real convenient system where you book your ticket online and then have to go to their sales office downtown and wait for an hour before getting to pay someone (that also takes nearly an hour). The Swiss could learn from this extreme efficiency.

Brianna and I have learned very little Spanish, but we do at least know what Lil Jon would say if he were here:
"Queeeeeee"
"Esta bieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen"
"Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii"
"Como"

Also, we learned that the Spanish word for diarreah is diarrea. Hasn't struck yet, but always good to know.

In tribute to all of the Argentinian teenagers out there. Ciao for now. Time for dinner (10:30).

Feliz Ano!

Buenos dias amigos from Buenos Aires!!!

After a long flight Brianna (my bro) and I spent the first couple of days getting situated in our apartment (awesome location) and catching up on some zs. No matter how hard you try, when you are 6'5" and sitting in peasant class, it is impossible to sleep. Brianna and I each watched 3 movies and played poker /trivia for most of the flight against the rest of the plane.

Buenos Aires is AMAZING so far. A couple of initial observations:
1) VERY European - tree lined streets, piazzas like Italy, lots of McDonald's everywhere
2) People always say it's the Paris of South America and I have to agree..... no one speaks English (or if they do, they pretend like they don't). And their accents make it extremely difficult to understand even basic Spanish words. Brianna and I have been STRUGGLING. Here was our first meal experience:
Miguel: "Uno burrito y uno pizza, por favor" (translation: I would like a burrito and a pizza, please)
Waiter: "Mumblio Mumblio Mumblio (I don't understand what you are saying, you stupid gringo.... or something like that)
Miguel: (Points at menu): "Uno burrito y uno pizza, por favor"
Waiter: (Said EXACTLY as I said it): "Ah, si, uno burrito y uno pizza. Mumblio mumblio mumblio mumblio."
Miguel: Si
45 minutes later, we got the pizza. After about an hour and a half, the burrito still hadn't arrived. Awesome - we had to ask for it again. This time they brought us a live donkey (ok, maybe not).

Spent New Year's with my friend Miriam and her friends Marcel and Lindsey. They are staying in this phat apartment in the Congressi district that makes our place look like a rescue shelter. We had a meal at their house - arrived an hour and a half late.... apparently BA had a daylight savings time change for like the first time ever the night we arrived. Luckily, no one told us. So, we ended up counting down the New Year's at the house. We had some drinks at a bar in Palermo Soho (the neighborhood we are staying in....it's named after NYC's Soho... no Houston street here though) and ended up at a Tango club. It was a trip! These old dudes (one guy looked like Dean Martin, another like the fat version of Marlon Brando, and, to top it off, Phil Donahue was in attendance) were totally picking up young, hot ladies. Needless to say, Brianna and I spent our time on the sidelines, but it was a crazy experience nonetheless.

They say this is the city that never sleeps. At 6am, we were walking home and stumbled across a street party. It was amazing and more representative of a traditional NYE celebration.

Ok, time to wake up my brother, it's 5:17pm. Hope everyone had a great new year! Check back periodically for updates. I'll post pics when we get them loaded. Stay golden.

It's Cold Outside......It Gets So Hot In Here.....

It was raining this white stuff that looked like cocaine in the land of Oz today. Had like the biggest "snow" in probably 100 years or something*. I drove to the gym (which is 9 blocks from my mom's house and promptly closed 30 minutes after I got there) and saw the following:

1) A car in the ditch

2) 3 cars stuck on a small hill

3) The Pizza Hut delivery guy

4) God...... ok, maybe not, but for a second there I couldn't really see anything because of the snow and thought that I was going to die.

It's crazy....... and a reminder as to why I live in San Francisco. I mean, sure the snow is fun and you can go sledding and make snowmen and stuff. That's all kinds of fun for like 1 hour. Then, it just becomes a pain - my Kansas City plans got cancelled tonight, boo.

When you are trapped inside at the Andrews/Taylor household and get tired of watching cable, the games usually break out. A fun game that we play every year is Dare or Dare, our version of Truth or Dare, where the Dares get harder until someone gets hurt. My sister Allison 'won' this round (see above).

Hope everyone has a safe and happy holiday season and doesn't get stuck in the airport like my sister Jennifer did today for 9 hours. Ho Ho Ho, Hoes.

Site of the Day: Are you tired of Christians? Well, finally, YOU have a holiday where you can celebrate your hatred of them!**

* Not confirmed as of press time. In fact, it probably was the 418th biggest snow ever, but still impressive.

** Don't worry, I'm not going to discuss religion and politics in this blog. I just thought the origination of the holiday was pretty ridiculous.