Check them all out on my new favorite site to listen to new music: www.hypem.com. I started the list with my absolute fav from 2009. Check it out here. If you want a CD with these songs, post and I will send you a copy. Word.
Saturday, May 15, 2010
Two Posts in One Day? What is this bloggity world coming to?
This is about 5 months past the point of relevance, but in keeping with tradition, thought I would post my favorite songs of 2009 (from my favorite albums of 2009). FYI, a couple of early 2010 songs slipped in there.
Check them all out on my new favorite site to listen to new music: www.hypem.com. I started the list with my absolute fav from 2009. Check it out here. If you want a CD with these songs, post and I will send you a copy. Word.
Check them all out on my new favorite site to listen to new music: www.hypem.com. I started the list with my absolute fav from 2009. Check it out here. If you want a CD with these songs, post and I will send you a copy. Word.
BB5 Makes Triumphant Return
We’ve been here before. Eons since the last entry. I know, I know. What the blog is wrong with the BB5 staff?! To summarize the last 5 months:
1) Starting working in the entertainment industry in Burbank (it’s not porn) as a CFO! Fun people, brilliant creative and….. it’s NOT PORN. Check out some of our work here. So far, working in the entertainment industry has not gotten me any of the expected perks. But I’m sure ScarJo, Speidi and I will be doing coke at Les Deux soon. Like probably next Thursday.
2) I broke my elbow
And there you have it. Yeah, there was a lot of other stuff that happened in there, but the best story was the whole elbow debacle. Thought it would be best to do it Q & A style. These questions were taken from weeks of (the same, ahem) conversations following the incident.
“How did it happen?”
a) Jumping off the triple ropes and doing an elbow drop on somebody’s jaw in a ‘pickup’ all-star wrestling match.
b) Fell while attempting a wicked triple mctwist ali on a halfpipe blindfolded.
c) Broke it while saving a cat holding a baby that fell from a tree that had caught fire due to a meth house explosion.
d) I was with the pope and I……………aw f*ck it, I broke it whilst running in the rain in downtown SF.
Lucky for me, I went down in front of only about 100 people at a busy intersection in the financial district during rush hour. Awesome. To my defense, I think I could probably sue the city for the slickness of the curbs in the rain (made of a different material than the less slick but still hazardous sidewalk). We all know I am not the most graceful, but seriously, I stood no chance.
“Did they put you under?
Yes. And when I emerged, the following conversation took place:
Nurse: “What is your name?”
Me (with no hesitation): “Michael Jordan”
And I wasn’t even trying to be a jackass. I really thought that was my name….initially. I went in to anesthesia a white guy with a quick third step and came out the best basketball player in the history of the game.
“Did you bring your IPhone with you and take any gruesome pictures while you were out of your mind on heavy pain drugs?” But of course!
Monday Bloody Monday
This is the money shot. Blue liquid being injected into the joints around my elbow = delicious photo.
And one "after" shot. For the rest of my life, I will be like Steve Austin.... in the elbow only......
“What was the hardest thing to do with a broken elbow?”
1) Flossing – trust me, it’s tough when one of your arms doesn’t bend!
2) Eating stuff out of a bowl. It required me to eat at, get this, a TABLE. How sucky is that?
3) Scratching and/or cleaning my right upper arm. This was pretty much impossible.
4) Physics – oh wait, that had nothing to do with the elbow.
“Can I have your left over pain medication?”
Definitely the most asked question. And good to know that most of my friends are one step away from becoming late-in-life Elvis.
“Did you have a roommate at SF General?”
Yes. My gangsta roommate broke both of his legs when a car hit him as he was drunkenly crossing the street at 5:30 in the morning. Highlights of our time together:
Day 1: The guy’s girlfriend and his mom get into it. Mom accuses girlfriend of pushing him in front of car. Yelling match ensues for like 15 minutes. Guy orders mom out of the room. Exact words, “B*tch, get out of the f*cking room”. All the while on his personal TV, The Jeffersons were on at full blast. I’m not even making this up.
1) Starting working in the entertainment industry in Burbank (it’s not porn) as a CFO! Fun people, brilliant creative and….. it’s NOT PORN. Check out some of our work here. So far, working in the entertainment industry has not gotten me any of the expected perks. But I’m sure ScarJo, Speidi and I will be doing coke at Les Deux soon. Like probably next Thursday.
2) I broke my elbow
And there you have it. Yeah, there was a lot of other stuff that happened in there, but the best story was the whole elbow debacle. Thought it would be best to do it Q & A style. These questions were taken from weeks of (the same, ahem) conversations following the incident.
“How did it happen?”
a) Jumping off the triple ropes and doing an elbow drop on somebody’s jaw in a ‘pickup’ all-star wrestling match.
b) Fell while attempting a wicked triple mctwist ali on a halfpipe blindfolded.
c) Broke it while saving a cat holding a baby that fell from a tree that had caught fire due to a meth house explosion.
d) I was with the pope and I……………aw f*ck it, I broke it whilst running in the rain in downtown SF.
Lucky for me, I went down in front of only about 100 people at a busy intersection in the financial district during rush hour. Awesome. To my defense, I think I could probably sue the city for the slickness of the curbs in the rain (made of a different material than the less slick but still hazardous sidewalk). We all know I am not the most graceful, but seriously, I stood no chance.
“Did they put you under?
Yes. And when I emerged, the following conversation took place:
Nurse: “What is your name?”
Me (with no hesitation): “Michael Jordan”
And I wasn’t even trying to be a jackass. I really thought that was my name….initially. I went in to anesthesia a white guy with a quick third step and came out the best basketball player in the history of the game.
“Did you bring your IPhone with you and take any gruesome pictures while you were out of your mind on heavy pain drugs?” But of course!
Monday Bloody Monday
This is the money shot. Blue liquid being injected into the joints around my elbow = delicious photo.
And one "after" shot. For the rest of my life, I will be like Steve Austin.... in the elbow only......
“What was the hardest thing to do with a broken elbow?”1) Flossing – trust me, it’s tough when one of your arms doesn’t bend!
2) Eating stuff out of a bowl. It required me to eat at, get this, a TABLE. How sucky is that?
3) Scratching and/or cleaning my right upper arm. This was pretty much impossible.
4) Physics – oh wait, that had nothing to do with the elbow.
“Is it true that you predicted your injury?”
True story, the day before it happened I remember thinking to myself, “I wonder what it would be like to live with one arm”. No crap. What is frustrating is that I also remember thinking to myself, “I wonder what it would be really rich and super buff and like married to a supermodel and stuff”.
True story, the day before it happened I remember thinking to myself, “I wonder what it would be like to live with one arm”. No crap. What is frustrating is that I also remember thinking to myself, “I wonder what it would be really rich and super buff and like married to a supermodel and stuff”.
“Did you have a cast?”
Half a cast for 2 weeks, but I threw that thing away because I’m just way too tough for that garbage.
Half a cast for 2 weeks, but I threw that thing away because I’m just way too tough for that garbage.
“Can I have your left over pain medication?”
Definitely the most asked question. And good to know that most of my friends are one step away from becoming late-in-life Elvis.
“Did you have a roommate at SF General?”
Yes. My gangsta roommate broke both of his legs when a car hit him as he was drunkenly crossing the street at 5:30 in the morning. Highlights of our time together:
Day 1: The guy’s girlfriend and his mom get into it. Mom accuses girlfriend of pushing him in front of car. Yelling match ensues for like 15 minutes. Guy orders mom out of the room. Exact words, “B*tch, get out of the f*cking room”. All the while on his personal TV, The Jeffersons were on at full blast. I’m not even making this up.
Day 2: The guy’s homies show up. Clearly drunk. At about 1:30 in the afternoon. N words are thrown left and right and promises made to ‘f*ck up the mother f*cker who did this to you’. All the while, I’m reeling in pain post-surgery just trying to get some sleep. Yeah. it was awesome.
All in all, an extremely rewarding experience. And by rewarding I mean completely rotten. Until next post/year, I bid you a fond farewell.
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Holiday Cards....A Look Back.
So if you're anything like me, starting in early December you start to get a steady stream of holiday cards from your friends. You know what I'm talking about. The JC Penney's portrait, with the family wearing matching sweaters. And one of the kids crying. Or not paying attention. Or staring at anything BUT the camera. And of course, with an adjoining heartfelt (aka cheesy) message. Actually, most of you probably sent one of these cards this year and I understand that this is what you have been trained to do. But I have always wondered what a single guy who has no kids (none proven anyway) is supposed to do to spread HIS holiday cheer?
Well, a few years ago, I came up with a concept and an annual tradition began. Here is how it all got started, gotta love that Jay Leno-like chin........
The next year was an instant classic.... wish I had the message that went along with this treasure. 
This one was my personal favorite (I WONDER WHY?!) - see message below. I can't believe how incredible handsome my wife is........
Message
Friends, family, I hope this Christmas card reaches you all safely and soundly. This past year was a great year for the Andrews Family. As many of you know, I was recently promoted at the plant. I am now a Poultry Gender Identification Specialist. The work is challenging, but riveting. Michelle is still working at Wal-Mart part-time and enjoying her activities (knitting, gun club, etc). Michael Jr. started pre-school and is already showing some pretty good basketball skills. In his first game, he had 16 points and 12 rebounds. Not bad for a 4 year old! We were also blessed with the birth of our second child this year, Michaela. She is an absolute treasure. Everyone tells us how much she looks like her father! I hope you have a wonderful holiday season with you and yours. God Bless.
And finally, one more 'unreleased' photo. My creativity was tapped, or so I thought. After finishing it, I decided it wasn't funny enough to release.......
BUT, after a brief hiatus, the Andrews Family Christmas card is BACK in full effect. Enjoy the holidays y'all! Props to one Brianna James Taylor for help with the execution on this one.
Message
Season greetings, family and friends. I thought I'd drop a line to wish you all good tidings. While it has been a challenging year, what with the recession and all, the Andrews family continues to move forward with fortitude.
After years as a blacksmith, I have decided to try my hand at a completely new trade. I opened a buggy repair shop on Walnut and Main. My wife Gertrude tells me that it is a risky proposition seeing as how everyone is shifting to motor cars, but I say horsefeathers! I think we all know these new fangled motor cars are just a fad and will go the way of the................what's that old saying again?*
John Jr. continues his rise in the burgeoning railroad industry. He and his wife Ethel welcomed their 5th son into the world this year, little Pip.
My son Walter got a job at a printing press and married young Mildred, of the McCormick clan. They are quite the handsome couple!
Charlotte is at university studying home economics, and young Elmer continues to deliver ice for ole Mr. Henderson. We are truly blessed with a healthy, happy family.
Enjoy the photo of the Andrews family included herewith, compliments of my friend Sir James Olan Mills. My sincere wishes for a fantastic next decade for you and yours. So long to the nots!
John Michael Andrews
* Actually I just remembered, the saying is go the way of the 'horse and buggy'... horsefeathers.
** For past Andrews Family holiday cards, check out www.bloggityblogblogblogblogblog.blogspot.com
The next year was an instant classic.... wish I had the message that went along with this treasure. 
This one was my personal favorite (I WONDER WHY?!) - see message below. I can't believe how incredible handsome my wife is........
Message
Friends, family, I hope this Christmas card reaches you all safely and soundly. This past year was a great year for the Andrews Family. As many of you know, I was recently promoted at the plant. I am now a Poultry Gender Identification Specialist. The work is challenging, but riveting. Michelle is still working at Wal-Mart part-time and enjoying her activities (knitting, gun club, etc). Michael Jr. started pre-school and is already showing some pretty good basketball skills. In his first game, he had 16 points and 12 rebounds. Not bad for a 4 year old! We were also blessed with the birth of our second child this year, Michaela. She is an absolute treasure. Everyone tells us how much she looks like her father! I hope you have a wonderful holiday season with you and yours. God Bless.
And finally, one more 'unreleased' photo. My creativity was tapped, or so I thought. After finishing it, I decided it wasn't funny enough to release.......
BUT, after a brief hiatus, the Andrews Family Christmas card is BACK in full effect. Enjoy the holidays y'all! Props to one Brianna James Taylor for help with the execution on this one.
Message
Season greetings, family and friends. I thought I'd drop a line to wish you all good tidings. While it has been a challenging year, what with the recession and all, the Andrews family continues to move forward with fortitude.
After years as a blacksmith, I have decided to try my hand at a completely new trade. I opened a buggy repair shop on Walnut and Main. My wife Gertrude tells me that it is a risky proposition seeing as how everyone is shifting to motor cars, but I say horsefeathers! I think we all know these new fangled motor cars are just a fad and will go the way of the................what's that old saying again?*
John Jr. continues his rise in the burgeoning railroad industry. He and his wife Ethel welcomed their 5th son into the world this year, little Pip.
My son Walter got a job at a printing press and married young Mildred, of the McCormick clan. They are quite the handsome couple!
Charlotte is at university studying home economics, and young Elmer continues to deliver ice for ole Mr. Henderson. We are truly blessed with a healthy, happy family.
Enjoy the photo of the Andrews family included herewith, compliments of my friend Sir James Olan Mills. My sincere wishes for a fantastic next decade for you and yours. So long to the nots!
John Michael Andrews
* Actually I just remembered, the saying is go the way of the 'horse and buggy'... horsefeathers.
** For past Andrews Family holiday cards, check out www.bloggityblogblogblogblogblog.blogspot.com
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Cerealously Good Times
Every year, there is one thing that is guaranteed to bring the Bloggity Blogs 5 staff out of semi-retirement. One day, that is more important than all others. And no, it’s not Flag Day, it’s Halloween!BB5 linked up with the same company that has produced such classic Halloween extravaganzas as "A Nightmare on Mission Street", "The Simpson's Tree House of Whores", "Pee Wee's HellHouse" and last year’s epic “Deep Thoughts, a Saturday Night Spooktacular”.
This year’s gala event, “Silly Rabbit, Trix (or Treats) are for Kids” featured the scandalous and sensational theme “dress as your favorite breakfast cereal box character”. Froot Loops, Boo Berry, Lucky Charms, Cookie Crisp, can anyone say yum? Of course, what makes these cereals delicious is 1) the fact that most of our parents didn’t let us eat them growing up and 2) sugar and/or crack. Enough of the jibba jabba, on to the annual Best Costume/Etc awards!!!
Best Individual Costume: Wheaties/Michael Phelps (Greg)
Yes, there were lots of Wheaties costumes. But only one man was willing to get down into his speedo and show off his six (ok, more like three) pack for the event. Also, if you look at the box closely, you can see a picture of Phelps hitting the bong.... which of course leads to a case of the munchies.... which ultimately leads back to eating Wheaties. Brilliant thinking and show, sir.
Best Team Costume: Frankenberry and Milk Carton (Franken & 2%)This was a tough one as several team costumes really kicked butt. But, the fact that Georgia "Franken" Frailey actually dressed as her namesake and was able to convince her dude to spend 3 hours assembling a milk carton pushed them over the edge.
Scariest Costume: Lucky (Mark)
I don’t know why, but when I pictured the human version of the Lucky Charms leprechaun, it certainly did not look like this. Maybe it is because Mark (aka El Diablo) is much larger than the character or maybe it is the scary wig he has on. Whatever the case, the bb5 staff loves you El D and next year recommends wearing a costume that doesn't make you look like a blackjack dealer at O'Shea's in Vegas.
Most Repeated Costume: Snap, Crackle and Pop (too many to name)What proved to be the ‘Where’s Waldo’ costume of 2009, an army of Rice Krispies devotees created made a lot of noise at the party. Never has a repeated costume been so beloved.
Best “You’re an eeg, you’re a bad eeg” Costume: Eeg (Dina)While not technically in the breakfast cereal category, this other "important part of this complete breakfast" was an impressive costume. I think Dina should consider quitting her day job and becoming a costume maker….or a nuclear physicist or something. Hell, with skills like this, she can do anything she wants.
For some reason, I couldn’t quit thinking about this scene from Flight of the Conchordes every time I saw Dina.
Best “Cartwheel Off”: Mary Lou Retton #1 vs. Mary Lou Retton #2 (Alicia vs. Tina)
First off, how AWESOME is it that there were, not one, but TWO Mary Lou’s? Second, how AWESOME is it that someone actually convinced them that a ‘cartwheel off’ was a good idea? From the looks of this video, it is pretty obvious that Alcohol + Cartwheels = Bad Idea. See the video here.
Best Rice Krispie Treats Made: Snap (Isabel)Snap filled me in on her secret recipe …...….’use DOUBLE the butter and more marshmallows than the recipe calls for’. Man, why didn't I think of that? Probably because I am not a doctor....
Best of the Rest:
Seriously, I was blown away by the participation this year. Y’all outdid yourselves......
Here the "Honey Nut Cheerios bee meets John Belushi" dips his stinger in the Froot Loops. Eew.
Was the cereal aLPHAbits or aFRObits?
Hey, we had to have at least ONE cereal killer, right?
Thank you Swannie for not dressing as the guy from the Hangover. Lookin' good!
The Cookie Crisp burgulars would have made away with batches of cookies from the party if it hadn't been for that one cop. 
For the record, it IS possible to dress up as a Lucky Charms leprechaun and not scare children.... 
The sun from Raisin Bran was there showering people with love.....and raisins.
Grandma showed up with her box of Kashi - she says 'it's good for your bowels!'
All in all, a great evening. For more pictures go here. And if you took photos, please add them to the link! Comments on awards? Protests?
All in all, a great evening. For more pictures go here. And if you took photos, please add them to the link! Comments on awards? Protests?Monday, August 10, 2009
The Great Moustachio Makes Return Appearance
In what has become somewhat of a birthday tradition, the Great Mustachio (TM) made a guest appearance in the Mission this past Saturday night. It was a bittersweet celebration due to developments earlier in the day, but the good folks at Casanova made sure that any negative thoughts were quickly (and I mean quickly) erased. A very fun evening that spiraled out of control, in true MCA BDay fashion.
The beginning of the night started off innocent enough.....
Smiles were happening everywhere.....
Bradshaw was "just bein' Bradshaw"......
Even the twins we're having a good time!
But then something happened....
And things started to get more serious.....
And then the Revolutionary War jokes started flying.....c'mon Lyle, we all know Nerina is still pissed about losing!
The only way to lighten this evening up was to............dance with random girls at the Double D!
Remember ladies, don't forget to have a full stomach before heading to a party with some random Irish guys at 3am.......
And never trust a guy in a fedora who tries to pick you up in a pizza place - nice skepticism Jess....
And whatever you do, never EVER get into a cab with THIS guy.......
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
BB5’s Back…All Right!
Enough, already. I know. You love the bloggity blogs 5 and come to rely on the up-to-the-minute (ok, month) worthless news that it provides. But then it disappears on you for 3 months. And you get sad. And you start to question everything and start getting super depressed and stuff. And just when you get near the end of your rope……….it happens. Another post on the bb5. And you read it. And you laugh. And you're back to that happy place. The one where screaming kids don’t exist. Nor does that pesky heroin addiction. You're back. Well friends, a lot has happened in the past 3 months, all of which will be shared in excruciating detail.
First stop – my trip to Sicily. Known in some circles as the ‘Mexico of Italy’, Sicily is not as ‘dangerous’ as people say it is. In fact, I would estimate that probably only 40-50% of people who live there are actually in the Mafia. The people in Sicily are quite friendly and with a less corrupt government, this place could easily become the ‘Costa Rica of Italy’. Here are some of the highlights from the trip:
- Pizza and arincini (fried rice/cheese/meat balls - how could this NOT be good?) at a restorante
First stop – my trip to Sicily. Known in some circles as the ‘Mexico of Italy’, Sicily is not as ‘dangerous’ as people say it is. In fact, I would estimate that probably only 40-50% of people who live there are actually in the Mafia. The people in Sicily are quite friendly and with a less corrupt government, this place could easily become the ‘Costa Rica of Italy’. Here are some of the highlights from the trip:
- Pizza and arincini (fried rice/cheese/meat balls - how could this NOT be good?) at a restorante
- Touring the family plant where they package delicious, smelly anchovies- Dinner at the campagna (country house) with a big Italian family. The ladies made homemade Sicilian style pizza in 5 different flavors and the guys sat around the table discussing who they were going to whack next (or at least that's what I think they were talking about).
- Taormina: this place was way too fancy to be in Sicily. Perched on top of a hill with crazy, dope views, lots of rich people and it was actually clean.
- Segesta, Segesta. Eat your heart out Parthenon!
- The crazy colors of Mt. Etna....an active volcano. Unfortunately, no lava was flowing.
- The Alcantara Gorge. You can't tell from this photo, but it was beautiful. The really good photos were not taken due to my camera being dropped in the Gorge....genius. And we got to wear these really sexy suits.
- The beach town, Cefalu
- Cremino – It’s the new rage in Sicily. It’s essentially a sweet whipped cream-like consistency, cold espresso.
- Last highlight in the 'sounds better than it actually tastes camp': ice cream in brioche. Bread and ice cream together seem like a perfect combo, but the bread gets mushy and it tastes a little wrong…
The only two things about the trip that sucked were the 110 degree weather (no exaggeration, it was 92 one night at midnight - try sleeping in THAT in no air conditioning) and the flights to and fro. Due to my application of the “Ben Smith”* method of air travel, I ended up on US Air for the 20+ hour haul to Sicily. Have you flown US Air internationally? Well if you do in the future, you have the following to look forward to:
- The space where your legs are supposed to go will actually be filled up by the seat in front of you! Ok, we all know my legs are too long for their own good, but, seriously, I have NEVER been so uncomfortable.
- Your television probably won’t work! So I may have been the only sucker on the 10 hour leg from Rome to Philadelphia that had that pleasure, but still… I am really bummed I didn’t get to see ‘17 Again’ starring Zac Ephron.
- You will have a kid in row behind you crying for 9 of the 10 hours of your flight. Ok, this was not technically US Air’s fault, but I still blame them. On another note, I no longer want to have kids.
- Your bag will arrive 3 days after your flight lands!
- This guy will be sitting in the aisle across from you - check out the drool!!!
Overall, a fun trip. In summary, when travelling to Sicily, don’t forget to ‘leave the gun, take the cannoli’. Ciao.
* Ben Smith, a FOMCA for many years, once was rumored to have saved former employer Jamba Juice, $50 on a business flight from San Francisco to Los Angeles by taking a connecting flight through Baghdad, Iraq (pre-war).
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Bloggity Blogs 5 Sets New Record of Futility
Exactly 3 months since my last bloggity blog post. 90 days. 2,160 hours 129,600 minutes. Like eleventy billion seconds or something. Definitely puts me in the running for this year's Laziest Blogger Awards. The really weird thing is that during that timeframe my site got bombarded with traffic - WTF?! Apparently Mr. Google must have dropped by for a visit, because traffic went up like 1000% for about 5 weeks. Or maybe a link made it on to a porn site or something?
Whatever the case, the last 3 months have been a whirlwind. Lots of tom foolery, including a quick trip to LA to see the artist formerly known as Brianna, an awesome performance by the Fleet Foxes a few nights ago and......................there was one more thing that I can't remember.................oh yeah, I went to Japan. More to come on Japan in a separate entry (likely 6 months from now).
I'm currently baking in my apartment on one of those rare nights in San Francisco when you don't have to wear a coat to bed, reflecting on a brilliant weekend. Highlights:
- Hanging with Bradshaw, Sleeps, Special Agent Dial and some smelly hippy in the Mission
- Destroying the Alpine Dam & the Seven Sisters with Nicky on our bikes. Then heading to to a beach party at Stinson with new friends.
- Singing Black Flag's TV Party with a karaoke band, The Amazing Embarrassonics, backing me at Annie's Social Club. Dude, I look so punk!!!! Especially with that book in my hand.
- Basking in the glorious 80 degree weather today - running, riding past the GGB (see below), watching a couple innings of the Giants game (in which Randy Johnson almost pitched a no-hitter). As the honorable O'Shea Jackson once quipped, "I gotta say it was a good day".
And with that, I bid you adieu. But not before giving my 3 (I couldn't come up with 5) favorite movies of 2008, although this exercise seems a little dated now. Not in order: Milk, Forgetting Sarah Marshall, Slumdog Millionaire. Kind of a crap year for movies if you ask me - or maybe I need some suggestions. Tally ho.
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