Gotta Say It Was A Good Year

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know. A blog post every 6 months does not a blog make. Hey, what can I say? it’s been a busy year. And by a busy year I mean, well, I’m lazy.

Rather than be long winded (per usual), I am going to try to be as brief as possible in my summary of 2010. We all know how good I am at that AND we have a FULL year to cover, but here goes:

2010 – The Good

The girl.

Leeci is the bomb. And for the first time in my life with someone that didn't smell like gym socks, she is my roommate. I feel so fortunate. Here is a shot of us as roller girls from the movie ‘Whip It’ on Halloween. Leeci is spot on as Ellen Page’s character Bliss Cavendar. I regretfully admit that I look like a pretty convincing 'Iron Maven'.....except for the beard.
The job.

Dude, my job at The Refinery is pretty choice. Cool owners/peeps, access to Hollywood premieres (ok it was Due Date which was just ok, but Zach Gafinakilis and I pretty much hung out all night at the after-party), a great team, and all the ham sandwiches I can eat. I mean, what else does one need?
The return of the FAMADBP.

After a 3 year strike/hiatus (WTF?! Seriously?!), the FAMADBP came back with vigilant force for its’ 9th Installment held at the official headquarters in Lawrence, KS. Although numbers were lower than prior years, those in attendance rocked out with their c*cks out, heavy metal-style. RKelly and newcomer Stacy beat out the formidable team of MCA & Lisa for the best team score. More importantly, old KU chum Tommy Field swept the Tim Danker Personna Transformation Award ™ AND Founder’s awards (a first!) with his ridiculous see-through mesh top/leather vest. Still makes me vomit a little in my mouth every time I see this photo.

The trips.

Norway, a country full of………….. supermodels, hair salons, amazing architecture (opera house in Oslo), clean streets, free bikes (Oslo), delicious cardamom pastries, hot dogs with onion crunchies wrapped in lefse, great parks with amazing statues (Vieland Park), tons of 7-11s, expensive prison-cell hostels, Peppe’s & Dolly Dimples pizza chains, beautiful -and I mean freakin’ beautiful- fjords, lush green fields/mountains, 15 mile long tunnels & one lane treacherous highways, dolphins just hangin’ in the fjords, epic & extremely testing hikes (Bessengen Ridge), freezing white water raft rides, interesting food festivals (Bergen: pig’s head, lefse galore, whale meat, cardamom cinnamon rolls), coffee drinkers (det Lille kaffekompaniet in Bergen), paragliding beauty in Voss…..and $17 value meals at McDonald’s. Seriously. WTF?! If you just won the lottery, I totally recommend Norway. If not, I suggest going to Minnesota. Or Canada or something.

Grand Tetons. I had never backpacked before this trip and wasn’t sure that lugging 65 pounds on my back for 4 straight hours uphill was my idea of ‘a good time’. But it was definitely worth it in the end as our campsite was sweet, the hikes luscious, the vistas breathtaking & the water, well, it was giardia filled. I guess that last part sucked.

And weekends in Seattle, Healdsburg, Tahoe & LA all made it a year to remember. Although LA hardly counts as a weekend 'away' anymore.....

The Shows.

Belle & Sebastian at the Hollywood Forever Cemetery. Yeah, their new album is pretty boring, but it’s always fun seeing Stuart Murdoch pop up and down amidst a bunch of rotting corpses.

Wow, The Treasure Island Musical Festival was EPIC this year. The Sea & Cake, Superchunk, Belle & Sebastian, Broken Social Scene made me feel like I was at a 1997 Indie All-Stars show. But it was Brooklyn’s finest, The National, that totally upstaged them all. Amazing stage presence and performance and one of my contenders for band of the year.

None of the shows I attended in 2010 though, top the Eddie Money Christmas Show at the ‘world famous’ Razzzzzz Room in SF. KDogg, LDub, Leeci & I joined 87 other brave souls for a sold-out, intimate death-defying (he is 64 years old) performance. I seriously have not laughed as hard as I did at this show since KDogg and I watched the Money Man shake it up in Vegas at Benton Jameson Smith’s 30th BDay celebration 8 years ago. He has still f*cking got it.

And Phoenix, Grizzly Bear at The Hollywood Bowl, Conan O' Brien, the Due Date Premiere at Mann's Chinese Theatre. Pretty tubular.

2010 – The Lowlights

The elbow.

Yeah, contrary to popular belief, breaking your elbow sucks a**. I'd like to punch the architect who designed the curbs in downtown San Francisco. With my right arm of course. The non-permanently damaged one!

The air travel.

Ok, so my job has one sucky element. I spent exactly 14.137 full days either on a plane, in transit to a plane, waiting for a plane or flying a plane. That’s 2 full weeks of my year. Ugh. The upside is that my Scrabble and Angry Birds skills improved dramatically.

Thy stomach overtaken.

Not once, not twice, but THRICE I got food poisoning or giardia (see Grand Tetons above) or something. Maybe I should stop getting bottled water from Tijuana shipped in every week.

Overall, highlights 27, lowlights 3. Winner: highlights.

Two Posts in One Day? What is this bloggity world coming to?

This is about 5 months past the point of relevance, but in keeping with tradition, thought I would post my favorite songs of 2009 (from my favorite albums of 2009). FYI, a couple of early 2010 songs slipped in there.

Check them all out on my new favorite site to listen to new music: www.hypem.com. I started the list with my absolute fav from 2009. Check it out here. If you want a CD with these songs, post and I will send you a copy. Word.

BB5 Makes Triumphant Return

We’ve been here before. Eons since the last entry. I know, I know. What the blog is wrong with the BB5 staff?! To summarize the last 5 months:

1) Starting working in the entertainment industry in Burbank (it’s not porn) as a CFO! Fun people, brilliant creative and….. it’s NOT PORN. Check out some of our work here. So far, working in the entertainment industry has not gotten me any of the expected perks. But I’m sure ScarJo, Speidi and I will be doing coke at Les Deux soon. Like probably next Thursday.
2) I broke my elbow

And there you have it. Yeah, there was a lot of other stuff that happened in there, but the best story was the whole elbow debacle. Thought it would be best to do it Q & A style. These questions were taken from weeks of (the same, ahem) conversations following the incident.

“How did it happen?”
a) Jumping off the triple ropes and doing an elbow drop on somebody’s jaw in a ‘pickup’ all-star wrestling match.
b) Fell while attempting a wicked triple mctwist ali on a halfpipe blindfolded.
c) Broke it while saving a cat holding a baby that fell from a tree that had caught fire due to a meth house explosion.
d) I was with the pope and I……………aw f*ck it, I broke it whilst running in the rain in downtown SF.

Lucky for me, I went down in front of only about 100 people at a busy intersection in the financial district during rush hour. Awesome. To my defense, I think I could probably sue the city for the slickness of the curbs in the rain (made of a different material than the less slick but still hazardous sidewalk). We all know I am not the most graceful, but seriously, I stood no chance.

“Did they put you under?
Yes. And when I emerged, the following conversation took place:

Nurse: “What is your name?”
Me (with no hesitation): “Michael Jordan”

And I wasn’t even trying to be a jackass. I really thought that was my name….initially. I went in to anesthesia a white guy with a quick third step and came out the best basketball player in the history of the game.

“Did you bring your IPhone with you and take any gruesome pictures while you were out of your mind on heavy pain drugs?” But of course!

Monday Bloody Monday

This is the money shot. Blue liquid being injected into the joints around my elbow = delicious photo.

And one "after" shot. For the rest of my life, I will be like Steve Austin.... in the elbow only......
“What was the hardest thing to do with a broken elbow?”
1) Flossing – trust me, it’s tough when one of your arms doesn’t bend!
2) Eating stuff out of a bowl. It required me to eat at, get this, a TABLE. How sucky is that?
3) Scratching and/or cleaning my right upper arm. This was pretty much impossible.
4) Physics – oh wait, that had nothing to do with the elbow.

“Is it true that you predicted your injury?”
True story, the day before it happened I remember thinking to myself, “I wonder what it would be like to live with one arm”. No crap. What is frustrating is that I also remember thinking to myself, “I wonder what it would be really rich and super buff and like married to a supermodel and stuff”.

“Did you have a cast?”
Half a cast for 2 weeks, but I threw that thing away because I’m just way too tough for that garbage.

“Can I have your left over pain medication?”
Definitely the most asked question. And good to know that most of my friends are one step away from becoming late-in-life Elvis.

“Did you have a roommate at SF General?”
Yes. My gangsta roommate broke both of his legs when a car hit him as he was drunkenly crossing the street at 5:30 in the morning. Highlights of our time together:

Day 1: The guy’s girlfriend and his mom get into it. Mom accuses girlfriend of pushing him in front of car. Yelling match ensues for like 15 minutes. Guy orders mom out of the room. Exact words, “B*tch, get out of the f*cking room”. All the while on his personal TV, The Jeffersons were on at full blast. I’m not even making this up.

Day 2: The guy’s homies show up. Clearly drunk. At about 1:30 in the afternoon. N words are thrown left and right and promises made to ‘f*ck up the mother f*cker who did this to you’. All the while, I’m reeling in pain post-surgery just trying to get some sleep. Yeah. it was awesome.

All in all, an extremely rewarding experience. And by rewarding I mean completely rotten. Until next post/year, I bid you a fond farewell.

Holiday Cards....A Look Back.

So if you're anything like me, starting in early December you start to get a steady stream of holiday cards from your friends. You know what I'm talking about. The JC Penney's portrait, with the family wearing matching sweaters. And one of the kids crying. Or not paying attention. Or staring at anything BUT the camera. And of course, with an adjoining heartfelt (aka cheesy) message. Actually, most of you probably sent one of these cards this year and I understand that this is what you have been trained to do. But I have always wondered what a single guy who has no kids (none proven anyway) is supposed to do to spread HIS holiday cheer? Well, a few years ago, I came up with a concept and an annual tradition began. Here is how it all got started, gotta love that Jay Leno-like chin........The next year was an instant classic.... wish I had the message that went along with this treasure. This one was my personal favorite (I WONDER WHY?!) - see message below. I can't believe how incredible handsome my wife is........ Message Friends, family, I hope this Christmas card reaches you all safely and soundly. This past year was a great year for the Andrews Family. As many of you know, I was recently promoted at the plant. I am now a Poultry Gender Identification Specialist. The work is challenging, but riveting. Michelle is still working at Wal-Mart part-time and enjoying her activities (knitting, gun club, etc). Michael Jr. started pre-school and is already showing some pretty good basketball skills. In his first game, he had 16 points and 12 rebounds. Not bad for a 4 year old! We were also blessed with the birth of our second child this year, Michaela. She is an absolute treasure. Everyone tells us how much she looks like her father! I hope you have a wonderful holiday season with you and yours. God Bless. And finally, one more 'unreleased' photo. My creativity was tapped, or so I thought. After finishing it, I decided it wasn't funny enough to release....... BUT, after a brief hiatus, the Andrews Family Christmas card is BACK in full effect. Enjoy the holidays y'all! Props to one Brianna James Taylor for help with the execution on this one. Message Season greetings, family and friends. I thought I'd drop a line to wish you all good tidings. While it has been a challenging year, what with the recession and all, the Andrews family continues to move forward with fortitude. After years as a blacksmith, I have decided to try my hand at a completely new trade. I opened a buggy repair shop on Walnut and Main. My wife Gertrude tells me that it is a risky proposition seeing as how everyone is shifting to motor cars, but I say horsefeathers! I think we all know these new fangled motor cars are just a fad and will go the way of the................what's that old saying again?* John Jr. continues his rise in the burgeoning railroad industry. He and his wife Ethel welcomed their 5th son into the world this year, little Pip. My son Walter got a job at a printing press and married young Mildred, of the McCormick clan. They are quite the handsome couple! Charlotte is at university studying home economics, and young Elmer continues to deliver ice for ole Mr. Henderson. We are truly blessed with a healthy, happy family. Enjoy the photo of the Andrews family included herewith, compliments of my friend Sir James Olan Mills. My sincere wishes for a fantastic next decade for you and yours. So long to the nots! John Michael Andrews * Actually I just remembered, the saying is go the way of the 'horse and buggy'... horsefeathers. ** For past Andrews Family holiday cards, check out www.bloggityblogblogblogblogblog.blogspot.com

Cerealously Good Times

Every year, there is one thing that is guaranteed to bring the Bloggity Blogs 5 staff out of semi-retirement. One day, that is more important than all others. And no, it’s not Flag Day, it’s Halloween!

BB5 linked up with the same company that has produced such classic Halloween extravaganzas as "A Nightmare on Mission Street", "The Simpson's Tree House of Whores", "Pee Wee's HellHouse" and last year’s epic “Deep Thoughts, a Saturday Night Spooktacular”.

This year’s gala event, “Silly Rabbit, Trix (or Treats) are for Kids” featured the scandalous and sensational theme “dress as your favorite breakfast cereal box character”. Froot Loops, Boo Berry, Lucky Charms, Cookie Crisp, can anyone say yum? Of course, what makes these cereals delicious is 1) the fact that most of our parents didn’t let us eat them growing up and 2) sugar and/or crack. Enough of the jibba jabba, on to the annual Best Costume/Etc awards!!!

Best Individual Costume: Wheaties/Michael Phelps (Greg)
Yes, there were lots of Wheaties costumes. But only one man was willing to get down into his speedo and show off his six (ok, more like three) pack for the event. Also, if you look at the box closely, you can see a picture of Phelps hitting the bong.... which of course leads to a case of the munchies.... which ultimately leads back to eating Wheaties. Brilliant thinking and show, sir.
Best Team Costume: Frankenberry and Milk Carton (Franken & 2%)
This was a tough one as several team costumes really kicked butt. But, the fact that Georgia "Franken" Frailey actually dressed as her namesake and was able to convince her dude to spend 3 hours assembling a milk carton pushed them over the edge.

Scariest Costume: Lucky (Mark)
I don’t know why, but when I pictured the human version of the Lucky Charms leprechaun, it certainly did not look like this. Maybe it is because Mark (aka El Diablo) is much larger than the character or maybe it is the scary wig he has on. Whatever the case, the bb5 staff loves you El D and next year recommends wearing a costume that doesn't make you look like a blackjack dealer at O'Shea's in Vegas.
Most Repeated Costume: Snap, Crackle and Pop (too many to name)
What proved to be the ‘Where’s Waldo’ costume of 2009, an army of Rice Krispies devotees created made a lot of noise at the party. Never has a repeated costume been so beloved.
Best “You’re an eeg, you’re a bad eeg” Costume: Eeg (Dina)
While not technically in the breakfast cereal category, this other "important part of this complete breakfast" was an impressive costume. I think Dina should consider quitting her day job and becoming a costume maker….or a nuclear physicist or something. Hell, with skills like this, she can do anything she wants.
For some reason, I couldn’t quit thinking about this scene from Flight of the Conchordes every time I saw Dina.


Best “Cartwheel Off”: Mary Lou Retton #1 vs. Mary Lou Retton #2 (Alicia vs. Tina)
First off, how AWESOME is it that there were, not one, but TWO Mary Lou’s? Second, how AWESOME is it that someone actually convinced them that a ‘cartwheel off’ was a good idea? From the looks of this video, it is pretty obvious that Alcohol + Cartwheels = Bad Idea. See the video here. Best Rice Krispie Treats Made: Snap (Isabel)
Snap filled me in on her secret recipe …...….’use DOUBLE the butter and more marshmallows than the recipe calls for’. Man, why didn't I think of that? Probably because I am not a doctor....

Best of the Rest:
Seriously, I was blown away by the participation this year. Y’all outdid yourselves......

Here the "Honey Nut Cheerios bee meets John Belushi" dips his stinger in the Froot Loops. Eew.Was the cereal aLPHAbits or aFRObits?Hey, we had to have at least ONE cereal killer, right? Thank you Swannie for not dressing as the guy from the Hangover. Lookin' good!The Cookie Crisp burgulars would have made away with batches of cookies from the party if it hadn't been for that one cop.
For the record, it IS possible to dress up as a Lucky Charms leprechaun and not scare children....

The sun from Raisin Bran was there showering people with love.....and raisins.

Grandma showed up with her box of Kashi - she says 'it's good for your bowels!'

All in all, a great evening. For more pictures go here. And if you took photos, please add them to the link! Comments on awards? Protests?

The Great Moustachio Makes Return Appearance

In what has become somewhat of a birthday tradition, the Great Mustachio (TM) made a guest appearance in the Mission this past Saturday night. It was a bittersweet celebration due to developments earlier in the day, but the good folks at Casanova made sure that any negative thoughts were quickly (and I mean quickly) erased. A very fun evening that spiraled out of control, in true MCA BDay fashion.

The beginning of the night started off innocent enough.....

Smiles were happening everywhere.....

Bradshaw was "just bein' Bradshaw"......

Even the twins we're having a good time! But then something happened....

And things started to get more serious.....

And then the Revolutionary War jokes started flying.....c'mon Lyle, we all know Nerina is still pissed about losing!
The only way to lighten this evening up was to............dance with random girls at the Double D!

Remember ladies, don't forget to have a full stomach before heading to a party with some random Irish guys at 3am.......
And never trust a guy in a fedora who tries to pick you up in a pizza place - nice skepticism Jess....

And whatever you do, never EVER get into a cab with THIS guy.......

Thanks all for a fun night! And props to KDogg for his Sean Penn impersonation - he somehow avoided the camera the entire night. Nice work, jerk.